When your ex returns your stuff, it means that your ex wants to get things over with as quickly as possible. Your ex wants to pull away, stay away, and avoid giving you a reason to reach out in the future.
He or she does this due to the fear that you could reach out about your belongings when you feel bored, lonely, sad, nostalgic, or guilty.
That’s why your ex took a precaution and returned your stuff before you could take it upon yourself to get back in touch and ask for things that would put him or her in an uncomfortable/painful situation.
Any conversation that makes your ex think about you and talk to you can be scary and dangerous for your ex’s emotional well-being, and recovery. Unwanted conversations force your ex to focus on you when all he or she wants is to focus on himself or herself.
They make your ex feel the kind of emotions your ex has been trying to avoid since the breakup.
You must understand that if your ex is a dumper, your ex wants to have fun, disassociate from you, and minimize the chance of you reaching out and dragging him or her back into the past.
And if your ex is a dumpee, your ex wants to stop worrying about when you’ll come back for your stuff and hinder his or her detachment process.
Therefore dumpees and dumpers return their ex’s stuff on their own for the same reason. They both want to get rid of the stuff that reminds them of their ex. The sooner they return their ex’s belongings, the smaller the chance that their ex will bother them on the pretext of wanting his or her stuff back in the future.
So if your ex returned your stuff and you’re wondering whether that means the relationship is over, know that it’s not any more over than it was before your ex returned your stuff. It’s not like your ex kept your stuff because he or she’d been thinking about you obsessively and doubting his or her decision to break up.
Your ex just didn’t feel comfortable and lacked the time and energy to pack up your things and return them to you. It takes a certain amount of effort to get back in touch with an ex and return his or her things. That’s because reminders of an ex and conversations with him or her bring back unwanted memories and emotions.
Emotions most exes would rather not feel.
That’s why you shouldn’t think that exes (especially dumpers) return your stuff only when they’re 100% done with the relationship. Most of the time, they delay returning your stuff because they feel apprehensive and don’t know how you’ll react.
They’d rather not do anything that would force them to see you sad or act desperate as that would guilt-trip them, hurt them, suffocate them, and stop them from being happy and relieved.
So bear in mind that your ex returned your stuff out of obligation, niceness, and/or self-protection rather than because you did something bad and made him or her give up on you.
If you didn’t ask for your stuff back, your ex thought that it was only fair to return your things and that it was time to finish all unfinished business.
By returning your stuff, your ex could stop thinking about how, if, and when he or she will give you your stuff back and risk getting dragged into a conversation.
Today, we answer the question, “What does it mean when your ex returns your stuff?” We also discuss what you should do when you get your things back.
What does it mean when your ex returns your stuff?
It doesn’t mean much when your ex returns your stuff. Your ex hasn’t regained his or her feelings yet and is still set on leaving. Staying away from you makes your ex happier than communication, bonding, and getting back together with you.
It lets your ex self-prioritize, self-forgive, and think of himself or herself as a moral person who respects your needs and willingly and happily returns your belongings. By returning them, your ex can take his or her focus off you and think about things he or she actually wants to think about.
Things like friends, family work, stressors, and other obligations.
So keep in mind that your ex didn’t return your stuff because he or she realized that getting back together with you was impossible. Your ex returned your stuff simply because it was convenient for your ex.
Your stuff was probably taking too much space, bothered your ex’s new partner, reminded your ex of the past, or made your ex feel guilty for holding on to your things. For some reason you may not be aware of, your ex felt it wasn’t right/good to hold on to your things and decided to give them back.
You shouldn’t overthink this as dumpers don’t return their ex’s belongings to start a conversation and begin the reconciliation process. They return their ex’s things because they think their ex wants/needs his or her stuff back and because it’s moral and necessary for their safety and peace of mind.
If they wait weeks or months and then return their ex’s stuff, they do that because they had some time to process the most destructive breakup emotions and made some emotional progress.
They’ve begun to think their ex has accepted the breakup and that their ex won’t make things awkward and difficult for them.
Such dumpers are ready to exchange belongings and perhaps even want to catch up and be friends with their ex. You can find out what they want by observing their behavior and asking them why they reached out.
Most dumpers will tell you what they hope to get out of the conversation. Those who don’t typically just wish to alleviate their guilt and move on.
That’s what it means when your dumper ex returns your stuff. What about when dumpees return your belongings? Do they also want to move on?
This depends on each dumpee. Some dumpees return their ex’s stuff to grab their ex’s attention and incentivize their ex to communicate with them. They want to scare their ex into thinking they’re moving on, so they indirectly tell their ex that he or she needs to act fast if he or she wants to talk and get back together.
Other dumpees, however, tend to return their ex’s stuff to stop holding onto hope. By giving their ex back his or her stuff, they intend to stop obsessing about what it means when their ex still has their stuff and whether their ex will contact them and want them back.
Dumpees tend to return their exes’ stuff to let go of hope and heal whereas dumpers usually do it to do the morally right thing and focus on other things and people.
Dumpers often avoid exchanging belongings for a while after the breakup because doing so helps them stay in control of the breakup and keeps their ex away. It helps them stay relieved and elated.
Dumpees, on the other hand, are in no contact and don’t know if they should reach out to give their ex his or her stuff back.
They don’t want to break no contact just to return their ex’s belongings because they fear it would look like they’re trying to get their ex back. They know their reach-outs could scare their ex away and devastate them.
That’s why dumpees often wait for their ex to reach out and suggest exchanging belongings. When they know it’s safe (that they won’t push their ex away), they then talk about ways to get their items back.
Fortunately, you already got our stuff back. Your ex returned your belongings to you and stopped you from wondering if your ex still had feelings for you and wanted you back. Your ex made the breakup easier for you by acting on his or her morals and making some extra space in the house.
You should be glad your ex was fair as some dumpers don’t return their dumpee’s belongings. Some dumpees ask their ex numerous times for their things back and their ex still doesn’t give them back.
The reason they don’t return their ex’s belongings is that they feel victimized, in control of the breakup, and don’t want to spend even a few minutes of their time thinking about their ex, seeing their ex, packing their ex’s things, or shipping them.
They just want what they want. And their wants exclude their ex.
So if you want to know what it means when your ex returns your stuff, know that something or someone triggered your ex’s decision to return your stuff. I can’t say what that was without analyzing your situation, but here are some possibilities to consider.

When your ex returns your stuff, your ex reiterates that the relationship has ended and shows there’s no point in keeping your stuff. Now that you’re exes, it makes much more sense to return your stuff and cut off future communication and bonding.
Besides, your belongings are yours. Your ex has no right to keep them and has no purpose for them as well. The only reason it took your ex some time to return your stuff is that your ex needed time to process things and get comfortable speaking with you or looking at your things and sending you your stuff.
If your ex didn’t take the time to return your stuff, then your ex just wanted to get things over with in the fastest way possible. Your belongings were the last thing preventing your ex from moving on with a clean conscience.
What if your ex was a dumpee?
In that case, your ex probably wanted to scare you so much that you reached out and validated him or her. Either that or your ex wanted to stop feeling hopeful and anxious and thought that by returning your stuff, he or she would cut off the past and have a new beginning.
What to do when your ex returns your stuff?
When your ex returns your stuff, thank your ex for returning your stuff and give your ex his or her stuff back as well. There’s no point in holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and won’t help you get your ex back.
Seeing your ex’s things day after day will only torment you and give you unnecessary hope. It will make you miss your ex more and want your ex back very badly.
So consider your ex’s actions the definitive conclusion of your relationship and the perfect time to invest in yourself and those who love you.
Try to wean off your ex by reminding yourself that your ex has left you and that if your ex wanted you back and was willing to work on the relationship, your ex would have shown you that already.
Your ex would have initiated a conversation and discussed meeting up. Basically, your ex would have done everything in his or her power to impress you and regain your trust. Your trust, loyalty, and feelings would have meant the world to your ex.
That’s because your ex would have been in pain and would have wanted your reassurance and support.
Since your ex isn’t thinking about being with you and putting in the necessary work, your only option is to get your ex out of your life. Get rid of your ex’s gifts, belongings, pictures, and things that remind you of your ex.
You won’t be needing them while you’re healing and you certainly won’t be needing them when you’re with someone else.
They won’t be of any help if you’re hurting and hoping to reconcile with your ex.
And if you do eventually reconcile, you can just tell your ex you gave up and threw all his or her gifts and unimportant stuff away. That might hurt your ex a little bit, but it’s the kind of pain your ex needs to respect you and know that he or she almost lost you.
It could be something that prevents him or her from thinking you’ll always want to be together.
So use this vital post-breakup time to distract yourself and forget about your ex. Nothing will make you feel better and impress your ex more than regaining your self-worth and not needing your ex to function and be happy.
Did you learn what it means when your ex returns your stuff? Do you have a different opinion on this topic? Let us know in the comments below.
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