When a woman realizes she lost a good man, she feels regretful, sad, anxious, nostalgic, and desperate to be with him. She sees that her perception of her ex was wrong and that she should have worked harder on herself and the relationship.
Because she didn’t, she starts blaming herself for abandoning the relationship and feels as if she got dumped. This means she experiences separation anxiety, fears of abandonment/the unknown, low self-esteem, and cravings for safety, reassurance, and happiness.
The dumper is prepared to do whatever it takes to make peace with her overwhelming emotions. She’s even willing to communicate with her ex, lower her pride, admit she was wrong, and ask for forgiveness and another chance.
A regretful ex won’t jump up and down in joy and overpower you. On the contrary, she’ll appear anxious, scared, and nervous and will listen to you and try to read your thoughts, feelings, and intentions.
For a few minutes after reaching out/meeting up, she’ll look as if she wants to talk about something important and prepare herself for potential rejection.
If you reject her, she’ll suffer immensely as she’ll see she lost a good man and that she lost him because she couldn’t appreciate him when she had the chance to.
So bear in mind that when a woman realizes she lost a good man, she won’t act like she’s on cloud 9. She won’t breadcrumb her ex for ages (friend-zone him), blame him (hold on to power), and act as if nothing happened (waste her time and the chance to get back together).
A regretful woman will take the initiative but also be careful about what she says and how she acts. She will try to avoid failure (rejection) by presenting herself as a calm, yet respectful and unhappy individual who made the biggest mistake of her life.
A dumpee doesn’t need to do anything to make her realize she lost a good man. If she has already realized his worth, he just needs to wait for her to express regret and bring up reconciliation.
When she does, he can negotiate his demands and take her back on a trial period of a few weeks. It’s important that he tells her his reconciliation expectations otherwise she could take him for granted again.
Dumpers don’t value those who throw themselves at their feet. They want their ex-partner’s value to be as high or higher than theirs. If it’s higher, they become regretful and make it possible for romantic feelings to redevelop.
Therefore, all you need to do during and after no contact is preserve your worth and let your ex realize your worth on her own through failure and suffering. Once your ex gets rid of old perceptions of you and sees you in a positive light, your ex will come to you and try to reconcile very quickly.
She won’t wait long because pain, anxiety, regrets, and insecurities will make her nostalgic and tell her she can avoid pain and feel as safe as she did in the past.
Today, we shed some light on what happens when a woman realizes she lost a good man. We also discuss what needs to happen for her to realize she lost someone great.
When does a woman realize she lost a good man?
A woman doesn’t realize she lost a good man for no reason. There’s a reason for everything in this world—as everything can be explained, including an ex-girlfriend’s motive for wanting a man back.
This motive (or motives) differ per person and may be difficult to discover (especially if you’re anxious and want your ex back) but keep in mind that ex-girlfriends come back because they fail to fulfill their post-breakup expectations.
They expect to find a replacement for their ex and for the problems they had with him, but instead, they find more problems and become even unhappier. This triggers waves of unwanted emotions and stops them from enjoying their life.
The only way they can go forward is to go backward to an ex who provided them comfort, love, peace, and emotional stability. By going back, they can instantly feel validated and receive help with the problems they have a hard time dealing with on their own.
It’s much easier to deal with problems when they know someone accepts them as they are. This is because acceptance boosts their self-esteem and makes their problems seem less important than they are. This is especially true if their problems have something to do with new dating prospects.
Usually, relationship problems, rejections, and breakups make women realize they lost a good man quicker than other predicaments. Bad health and problems in the family can trigger romantic nostalgia and regret as well, but nothing makes dumpers reflect more than problems with new dating partners.
This is because failed/failing relationships cause a lot of pain, affect people’s self-esteem, and trigger nostalgia, comparisons, and reflections. They hit people’s weaknesses and make them want to do something to stop hurting.
As long as they’re hurting, they feel the need to grow and avoid failure and pain.
Dumpers who waltz back happily like nothing happened more often than not leave again. They don’t see a reason to stay because they don’t feel a reason to stay. Emotionally, they don’t care about the consequences of leaving their ex because they think anyone can make them happy.
Such dumpers lack regret and gratitude and can’t be in a successful relationship with their ex. They need to work on themselves before they can value others.
That explains why dumpers who come back out of boredom and other unimportant reasons don’t realize their ex’s importance. They come back just to get something from their ex (forgiveness, validation, financial support…) and stick around for the ride.
When the ride is over, they once again develop doubts, feel uncomfortable, leave, and hurt their ex.
So if you’re trying to learn how a woman comes to the conclusion that she lost a good man, know that she realizes it when things go awry for her. When she gets dumped or experiences something extremely unpleasant and painful, she thinks back and discovers that she lost a valuable/unique person.
In other words, she has an epiphany when negative emotions kick in and tell her that the life she chose sucks and that she was much happier when she was with her ex. That’s when she becomes emotional and starts craving love, reassurance, commitment, and everything she had in the past.
To realize she lost a good man, a woman needs to hit the regret stage of a breakup.
She needs to:
- try to be happy and succeed without her ex
- temporarily replace her ex with something or someone else (usually the latter)
- fail miserably
- get hurt
- reflect
- realize she overvalued herself and underestimated her ex
- look for backup options to end her suffering
Without pain and reflection, it’s unlikely that your ex-girlfriend will return. She’ll probably move on to someone else or return only temporarily to get something from you. I’m talking about some kind of benefit only you can provide.
You need to be aware of that so you don’t think your ex would return just because you got along and had a decent relationship. Dumpers don’t come back solely because their relationship was nice.
They come back because their post-breakup relationship/experience is much worse than their experience with their ex-partner. The bigger the difference in quality and happiness, the bigger the chance that dumpers compare the two relationships and become regretful.
So keep in mind that your ex’s return depends both on her luck (on who she gets involved with) and how developed she is as a person. If her new partner is immature and she has the ability to see you in a better light, she could cave into anxiety and return to you.
This also depends on her coping mechanism (on how she deals with difficulties and pain) and her beliefs. For example, if she convinces herself she doesn’t go back to exes, she probably won’t go back even if she’s in pain.
She’ll probably stick to her beliefs and find a better way to cope with hardships.
With that said, here’s when a woman could realize that she lost a good man.
Always remember that a woman needs to experience life without her ex before she can miss her ex and think about him. She needs to go from disliking her ex to being indifferent toward him. That’s when she can develop romantic cravings and desires to feel safe with her ex.
She can feel that way only if her plans fail and force her to see that she’ll be alone and miserable if things stay as they are.
What happens when a woman realizes she lost a good man?
Anxiety and fear can incentivize the dumper to remember her ex and think about being with him. The dumpee just needs to wait a few days.
That’s how long the dumper needs to realize she lost a good man and that she needs to come back before he moves on and meets someone else.
The dumper doesn’t need much time to think things through. Due to overwhelming pain and regret, she only needs a few days (or less) to realize that she made a terrible decision and that things were easier and better in the past.
However, if your ex-girlfriend doesn’t come back within a few days of experiencing difficulties, this could only mean two things.
- She hasn’t suffered enough and realized your worth.
- She isn’t capable of reflecting and changing her mind about you—and likely won’t come back in the future.
Some exes don’t want to change the way they perceive their ex. They like holding their ex responsible for the breakup as doing so makes them feel victimized and gives them power. It helps them justify the breakup and allows them to ignore the need to think about their mistakes and grow.
Such exes stay as they are and continue to treat their partners and ex-partners the same way.
So bear in mind that your ex-girlfriend needs to have a certain level of self-awareness in order to come back and stay with you. She needs to be able to de-victimize herself and see that she contributed to the end of the relationship.
If she can do that, she can evolve and redevelop feelings for you when the world comes crashing down on her.
If you think that she just needs time, you’ll wait for her and stay hopeful. You’ll refuse to acknowledge the fact that not all dumpers come back. Many dumpers don’t look back because they can’t stop thinking negatively and improve their perceptions of their ex.
But when a woman realizes she lost a good man, rest assured that she’ll come back on her own. She’ll admit that she shouldn’t have left and that she needs to work hard on regaining trust and making the relationship work.
The new relationship won’t be a cakewalk, she’ll be aware of that. But that won’t stop her because she’ll be as desperate to make it work as the dumpee.
Bear in mind that it can take a woman a long time to realize she lost a good man. An inexperienced girl might have to date many guys to realize that one of her exes was way better than her other exes and that she left him because of her immaturity and inability to communicate and deal with difficult emotions.
Some women need years or decades to come back. Since it’s impossible to predict when or if your ex-girlfriend will come back, your only option is to go no contact and start letting go of her. It won’t be easy at first (especially if you have mental health problems and can’t stand the thought of her being with someone else).
But once you accept that the worst has already happened and that you don’t have years to waste on your ex, you’ll understand that getting back with her would be a waste of time. It’d also be risky because your ex could leave again and hurt you.
So give it a few months and your opinion of your ex will probably change. This is because you’ll detach and start seeing your ex as a person who neglected the relationship and broke her promises and commitments.
What do you think it takes for a woman to realize she lost a good man? Do you think something bad must first happen to her to see you as a person of high value? Share your views below the post. We’ll get back to you soon.
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