Age Gaps in Relationships: Perfecting May-December Romances

Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes, it can arrive at your doorstep in the form of a May-December romance.

Fortunately, having significant age gaps in relationships is no longer as taboo as it once was. However, if you’re starting a relationship with someone significantly older or younger, you shouldn’t expect everything to be smooth-sailing.

People with extensive experience in age-gap dating can attest that they’ve had to weather numerous challenges as they fight for their relationship and strive to make it work. But if you and your partner put in the effort, you can sail through these issues and have the happy-ever-after you both deserve.

How Big Should Couples’ Age Gaps Be?

A 2017 study published in the Journal of Population Economics showed that marital satisfaction decreased as the age gap in relationships increased.

Couples with a 0-to-3-year age gap, for example, ranked higher in satisfaction compared to those with a 4-to-6-year gap who, in turn, reported greater satisfaction than those with a 7-plus-year gap.

So does this mean that the best age gap in a relationship is three years or less? Maybe, but not always.

Remember: your age gap is only one of the many factors that affect your relationship.

This means that, even if you were born in the same year, but your personalities aren’t really compatible, you probably won’t get along well, and your relationship might not last. If you and your partner share the same values and want similar things in life, a ten-year gap likely won’t matter that much in the long run.

Navigating Common Challenges in Age-Gap Relationships

Of course, no matter how well you get along with your partner, you’ll inevitably run into problems that are brought about by age gaps in relationships. Here are some examples:

Having different priorities

It’s normal for people in different life stages to strive for different things, but it can be detrimental for couples with significant age gaps since they’re essentially working towards different goals.

An older and more successful man, for example, might be planning to slow down and take well-deserved vacations. However, scheduling trips will be difficult if his much-younger partner is still building her career and doesn’t have much time to travel.

It’s disrespectful to ask either partner to give up their dreams just to keep the relationship stable, so couples in this situation should thoroughly discuss their goals and decide how they’ll move forward.

Dealing with opposition from family

There are lots of misconceptions about age-gap relationships, and these can color the way your loved ones see your relationship. They might give your partner the cold shoulder instead of warmly welcoming them into the family, and they might even be thoroughly hostile and loudly demand that you break up.

The best way to combat this hostility is to present a united front. Show your family that you and your partner are a unit and that they can’t accept one of you while excluding the other.

Be ready to limit contact with aggressive family members. Gentle words and detailed explanations don’t always work, especially when people stubbornly refuse to open their minds, so you might have to limit your interactions with them or even cut them out of your life.

Tackling health issues

Generally, the older partner has a higher risk of health problems simply because of their age. This can create friction as the younger partner grapples with the possibility of being a caregiver for years and eventually becoming a widow/widower at a young age.

While it’s impossible to stop the clock and prevent the human body from aging, couples in age-gap relationships can take steps to keep medical issues at bay and cushion their blow.

Adopting healthier lifestyles, scheduling regular checkups, taking prescriptions as described — all of these can do wonders in preventing health problems and extending the amount of time they have together.

Gaps Aren’t Gorges: It Is Possible to Bridge Them

While age gaps in relationships can bring about several challenges, they’re not exactly insurmountable, and they shouldn’t get in the way of love. As long as you work together, you and your partner can successfully navigate any problem and make your relationship last.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.