How to Overcome Addictive Behaviors (Without White-Knuckling It)
Breaking free from a fix isn’t about trying harder. (If it were, you would have totally fixed it already, right?)
The first and most powerful step is being honest with yourself — naming your fix, and admitting you can’t “just stop” through sheer willpower. (Hard, but holy wow, freeing.)
Then, it’s about connection: to yourself, to other people, and to something greater than you (whatever that means to you — spirituality, community, love, purpose). When we reconnect with our true selves, we stop needing the fix as much.
From there, we need a real-life, doable plan — not just wishful thinking. That’s why structured frameworks like the 12 Steps (or good therapy, or evidence-based coaching!) are so life-changing. They give you a map when your internal GPS is like, “girl, I got nothing.”
And most importantly: Practice radical self-compassion. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being progressively free.
Quick Tips for Your Freedom Journey
Here are a few simple things you can start doing today to loosen the grip of a fix:
- Notice when you’re reaching for your fix — and gently pause. Just notice. No shame, no drama.
- Stay connected to your bigger “why.” Who do you want to be on the other side of this? (If you need help clarifying that, check out my How to Find Your Purpose article.)
- Get support. You don’t have to do this alone. (In fact, please don’t.)
Change happens when support meets readiness. And if you’re reading this? You’re already on your way.
Next Steps to Freedom
If you’re ready to find out what’s really holding you back — and start building a life that feels joyful, free, and genuinely good — I have two invitations for you:
First, take my What’s Holding You Back? Quiz. It’s free, it’s fast, and it’ll give you crystal-clear insight into your growth opportunities right now.
Second, if you’re feeling that nudge in your heart to get support, we’re here for you. You can schedule a free consultation with one of the expert coaches or therapists on my team. Zero pressure — just a friendly conversation about how we can support your goals.
Oh! And if you’re not already hanging out with me on Instagram or YouTube, come join the party. I share tons of free advice, tools, and mini-moments of inspo every week.
Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. If you know someone who’s been feeling stuck or wrestling with their own “fix,” would you do them (and me!) a favor? Send them this article. A little love can go a long way — and you never know who might need exactly this encouragement today.
Resources:
Marlatt, G. A., Baer, J. S., Donovan, D. M., & Kivlahan, D. R. (1988). Addictive behaviors: Etiology and treatment. Annual review of Psychology, 39(1), 223-252. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dennis-Donovan/publication/19876985_Addictive_Behaviors_Etiology_And_Treatment/links/0a85e52f9470a9aa39000000/Addictive-Behaviors-Etiology-And-Treatment.pdf
Langer, E. J. (1975). The illusion of control. Journal of personality and social psychology, 32(2), 311. https://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/32/2/311/
Fiorentine, R., & Hillhouse, M. P. (2003). Why extensive participation in treatment and twelve-step programs is associated with the cessation of addictive behaviors: an application of the addicted-self model of recovery. Journal of addictive diseases, 22(1), 35-55. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J069v22n01_03
