Have you ever wondered if you’re just a booty call to him? A friends with benefits?
Today’s letter from a reader asks this question. Stay with me as I answer this –
QUESTION FROM A READER:
My biggest obstacle was finding a product that I felt delved into things on a deeper level, with explanation, instead of just “don’t be too easy“, in a nebulous sense.
My results are still; pending … but I am very impressed with your program thus far.
Specifically, I liked the explanation of WHY men behave think as they do.
I wish there were more information about when a man (who is an ex-boyfriend), is stringing me along.
He will take me on very nice dates and treat me like a lady, yet he wants to play the field. I won’t hear from him for a few weeks, then he comes along again.
The problem lies in that we have already slept together and have a fantastic time together on an intimate level YET he is non-committal still.
Am I just a booty call? How do I backup from giving him sex, since we have already engaged in it?
Meaning, would it be odd to suddenly cut him off (ie, what excuse can I use?) Please help!!!
______________________
CARLOS CAVALLO ANSWERS:
I get that question a lot…
“How do I backup from giving him sex, since we have already engaged in it?“
It’s interesting if you think about it, because many women feel that when they’ve crossed that invisible barrier, they must now give him everything.
And that it would be odd to suddenly cut him off…
What would he say!
Oh, goodness!
Well, honestly, it’s your choice. If you wanted to – and I’m not saying to do this – you could just say:
“Look, I’m only interested in having an intimate relationship with a guy that wants an intimate relationship with me. When we’re there, we can see what happens…“
Playful smile, kiss on the cheek, move on to next subject.
(The crowd gasps…)
What?
Too harsh?
Look, that’s exactly the kind of boundary a man respects. And – curiously enough – the kind of boundary that makes him stand up, take notice, and reassess his own control over the relationship.
You see, right now, he’s got all the control.
He gets the sex…
He gets to play the field…
He gets to have the relationship HE wants because he has all the control.
Here’s how you could do it if you felt that setting that boundary now would be too harsh:
Slow it down.
That’s right, slowly apply the brakes on things.
Turn him down after one of those long breaks between booty calls and tell him you’ll ‘get back to him.’
Give him a kiss good night after one of those “nice dates” and tell him you’ve got a big day tomorrow… can’t spend the night.
Look, I know, you want the intimate time with him as much as he does. We’re not living in the repressed 1950s where people still think that women don’t absolutely DEVOUR their sexual experiences.
And if that was all you wanted from this, I’d say, go for it!
But it’s NOT.
You want more, and you deserve more.
And the only way you get that is to follow the plan I give you in Forever Yours that will turn this thing back around into him chasing you again.
Desperate to be with you…
And then you can decide if he’s your Mr. Right or not.
If you keep acting from this place of scarcity – pining away for him and then jumping at the chance to go out with him – even if it’s a blast and a lot of fun – you’re seriously undermining the natural structure that signals a man that he should try to win you over – forever.
I’ve given you the complete plan: Forever Yours. When you said results are still ‘pending,’ I think that means you haven’t finished it yet.
Yours in Perfect Passion…
– Carlos Cavallo
UPDATED 9/23/2021
