Can you trust men again after 50?
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Have you ever been betrayed by a man you’d trusted with your heart and soul?
When it happens, it can be so painful and it can shake you to your core causing you to not only doubt your ability to pick the right partner, but it can also skew your overall judgement about men, dating and relationships.
The emotions that that come up – like feeling ashamed for not noticing the signs sooner, or the anger you feel for allowing someone into your life who eventually caused you so much pain and heartache – can lead you to questioning your instincts and creating fear and hesitancy when it comes to trusting men again.
Now you feel like only you can protect yourself, so you make men jump through hoops so you never get hurt again.
Or on a date, you focus on his flaws, determined not to be deceived again or you go out there looking for someone who is perfect (all this does is leave you single and lonely for love because perfect doesn’t exist).
These types of actions create a barrier that keeps you from forming the genuine connection you really want with a good man.
That’s why today, I want to share three steps you can take to help you rebuild trust in both men and yourself so you can make that dream of a fulfilling relationship with a good man come true.
Step #1: Healing and Forgiving
When you’ve been hurt, you want to take enough time to heal and reconnect with yourself.
It can be hard to acknowledge that you might have unintentionally attracted someone who wasn’t good for you.
Yet recognizing this (without judging or putting yourself down) is the first step towards healing your heart.
The next step comes from forgiveness – especially of yourself.
For this, I recommend a practice called Ho’oponopono.
The practice of Ho’oponopono is transformational, and you can learn more about it by clicking here.
The story of how it came about is amazing and powerful!
The process involves repeating these four simple sentences while focusing on forgiving yourself and the person who hurt you.
– I love you.
– I’m sorry.
– Please forgive me.
– Thank you.
When I do this with clients, I have them put their hands over their heart and repeat these sentences 4 times or until they feel the negative emotions release.
Holding onto the anger you have for yourself or for someone from your past keeps you emotionally tied to that pain (which keeps you more connected with that person) and it hinders your ability to move forward.
But I get it – sometimes, letting go of negative feelings can be challenging.
If Ho’oponopono doesn’t bring the relief you seek, reach out to a counselor or therapist.
Professional support can be invaluable in helping you release any negative emotions you’re holding onto, and can pave the way for healthier relationships to come to you in the future.
Step #2: Recognizing There Are Good Men Out There For You
It’s important to remember that because one man hurt you doesn’t mean all men will.
To help my clients overcome their fears about trusting men again, I teach them to use a tool called the “Trust Glasses.”
When you wear what I call the “Grey Stormy” Trust Glasses, you’re viewing a man through a lens of distrust assuming he will hurt you.
This can lead you to losing out on a genuine connection with a potential partner who might be perfect for you but you were afraid to give him a chance.
Instead, I encourage you to wear what I call the “Turquoise Glasses.”
These glasses are like a calm ocean where you can see beautiful fish swimming close to the surface, yet you can also see any dangers that might be lurking under your feet.
By wearing them, you can go on a date simply to observe and take your time getting to know a man without any expectations about the outcome.
Rather than making him jump through hoops, view the date as an opportunity to meet someone new and interesting and focus on finding three positive qualities about him instead of looking for his flaws to protect yourself.
Step #3: Truly Listen to What a Man Is Telling You
If a man shares stories about having cheated on a previous partner, take it as a serious red flag.
You might think he’s being vulnerable and would never do this if he truly loves you, but this is flawed thinking that can lead to you getting hurt.
Don’t skip over red flags men share in their conversations and in their actions.
Men mean what they say, so it’s important to listen carefully.
When you do, you’ll be able to trust your instincts and make decisions that are best for you.
Healing your heart and learning to trust again is a journey.
It’s normal to feel a mix of shame, anger, and self-doubt after experiencing betrayal.
It’s ok to be cautious, but it’s try not to let fear close you off from future opportunities for love.
The steps I shared with you today – healing and forgiving, shifting your perspective using the Trust Glasses, and truly listening to men – will help you rebuild your confidence.
Trusting again takes time, but with patience and self-compassion, you can create the future you envision with a good man.
Remember, you deserve love and you have the strength to find it again.
We’re all looking for the relationship Carole now has, right?
Now to inspire you love after 50 is possible!
I can’t believe it but I’m over 60 and in a GREAT RELATIONSHIP!
I started my journey with Lisa 9 months ago with little hope of finding a man who could be interested in me. Lisa helped me regain my self esteem and self confidence, helped me work through my feelings of anger, sadness, guilt and my fears which were preventing me from letting go of the past and from progressing on my new mission. I worked hard, her program was very useful in helping me define the type of man who would suit me best and bring me happiness. Here I am today in a great relationship! Many thanks Lisa for all your help!!! Carole, Montreal
If creating a life together with a good man is something you’ve wanted, reply YES to this email and we’ll figure out the best way to get you the tools and support Carole used to find love again in her life after 50.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, “The Winning Dating Formula.” It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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