It’s a scary question to ask: Do you REALLY love him? You’re pretty sure, but there are troubling signs.
After all, the MOST exhilarating phase of falling in love is that early stage when you find yourself losing yourself to it. It’s like you’re under a spell, you’re under the influence.
Noticed how the main characters in the movies like Romeo and Juliet, Twilight, 50 First Dates, Mr. & Mrs. Smith – they all fall in love and defy the world just to be together.
They go through a lot of hurdles but their connection is so strong, no one – not amnesia, or death can keep them apart.
They show these sure-fire signs of being in love:
1. They can’t stop staring at each other.
2. They’re excited to be together.
3. Can’t keep their hands off each other.
4. Imagining a future together.
5. Feel lucky to be with each other.
In REALITY it’s like that too, at least at its first stage – Love is unexplainable. Love is MAGIC.
But the difference between reality and movie is this: In a movie, the story ends when the characters finally kiss, get together, and fall in love.
In reality, there’s relationship that needs to be nourished – and worked on everyday.
Most often than not, when reality kicks in, that magical feeling fades. All the love signs disappear, and you’re left with doubt and confusion.
A relationship entails constantly working out problems, occasional “discussions” (arguments), your mindset if you’re in love should be “It’s all worth it!”
If you feel exhausted and unable to find that balance to make you happy with him, that’s normally where the problem is. You’re finding that it’s more work than fun – significantly more.
The fact that you’re questioning whether or not you’re still in love with him, there’s a good chance you might be on your way out.
Here are some reasons why people fall out of love:
1. You discovered something different about him that you can’t accept
2. You feel emotionally and mentally depleted. Sometimes numb.
3. He became way too available (Maybe even needy)
4. Decreased physical attraction
5. You feel a bit repulsed around him instead of attracted
If more than ONE reason is applicable to you, there’s a possibility that you’re falling out of love.
To know if you’re still in love, you have to reflect on what you really feel and think about him. And you have to be completely honest with yourself.
To help you out more, here are some questions to ask yourself if you’re still in love with him:
1. Do you still have any attraction left for him? Do you still feel sexually drawn to him?
2. Can you settle for mere companionship?
3. Can you imagine life without him?
4. Do you feel lonely even if you’re with him?
5. Are there any traits you admire about him?
Falling out of love with someone is the hardest experience anyone can go through.
But, you have a choice:
Suck it up and stay…
OR Move on and find your happiness.
In the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” with Julia Roberts, she had to make a decision to leave her comfort zone to find herself.
And she went through a journey that led her to meet her Mr. Right – THE ONE – that person that fits into her life as perfect as a puzzle piece.
So, if you know that you’re not in love with him anymore, have the courage to move on and find the right guy for you…
OR if you choose to stay, make it work with him. Find things you can do to reignite the passion you’ve had once with each other.
It will take a lot of effort to rekindle the flames, but it can be worth it.
Remember that whatever you decide to make, it is your CHOICE and you’re in COMPLETE control of your life…
Yours In Perfect Passion…
– Carlos Cavallo
UPDATED 9/27/2021
