Blocking your ex on everything has positive and negative effects. Positive effects include shutting the dumper out of your life and not knowing what he or she is doing. In other words, it’s a blindfold solution that takes the dumper’s ability to surprise you and hurt you away—and allows you to focus on things you need to focus on.
Negative effects, conversely, are feelings of guilt, curiosity, a lack of control, self-doubt, and reduced chances of your ex coming back. A blocked ex has a smaller chance of finding alternate ways to contact you and come back. This is because he or she may think that you have completely given up on the relationship and that there’s too much water under the bridge to fix things.
Many dumpees initially block their ex. They feel rejected and hurt and experience gut-wrenching anxiety and depression. To punish their ex and feel at least some sense of control, they block their ex on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and places their ex can see what they’re up to.
They don’t worry about the future and the consequences blocking will have on them and their ex.
They don’t care that their ex will think they’re being impulsive and childish. Their emotions are still raw and extremely difficult to control, which is why dumpees are only interested in extorting whatever power is left for them to extort.
Power gives them strength and helps them control a small part of the breakup.
The reason I’m against dumpees blocking their exes is not just because it makes it harder for dumpers to contact the dumpee. The most regretful dumpers will find a way to reach their dumpee even if their dumpee has blocked them everywhere.
I’m against blocking because of two reasons:
- the way it makes dumpers feel about their ex (it confirms their reasons for leaving)
- and the way it makes dumpees feel about their actions
Dumpees go through a myriad of emotions after the breakup. Most of them still want to be with their ex, so they stay hopeful, read tons of ex-back material, and continuously feel lost and confused.
After the rush of blocking their ex has waned, though, they often think that blocking is immature and spiteful and that their ex probably doesn’t think any better of them because of it.
If anything, their ex dislikes them more as blocking is something people do when they don’t like their ex. And because they don’t like their ex and their ex is aware of it, their ex doesn’t like them back. He or she has no reason to like a person who resorts to blocking (acting immaturely).
People are prideful and reactive beings. When someone blocks them, they consider it a personal attack and may even block the blocker back. They think to themselves, “If my ex doesn’t like me, I don’t like my ex either and will block my ex. I’ll teach him/her a lesson.”
This eye-for-an-eye mentality is very common among exes who went through a difficult breakup.
One of the most common pieces of advice I come across on the internet is “Just block your ex and move on.” What such advisers seem to forget is that moving on isn’t as simple as blocking an ex everywhere and forgetting the ex exists.
Blocking an ex online can trigger feelings of regret, guilt, and self-doubt. It can (and often does) make dumpees question their decisions and forces them to wonder obsessively about their ex’s interpretation of their blocking. This kind of thinking and uncertainty can make them unblock their ex and show their ex how fickle-minded they are.
So if you’re going to block your ex on everything, do it when your ex is no good for you (your ex has hurt you and keeps hurting you) and when you have no intention of reconciling. Blocking should be a permanent solution, not a temporary one.
Before you block your ex everywhere, make sure that you’re completely done with your ex and that you don’t even want to be friends with your ex. If you block your ex one day and unblock him or her the next, your ex will eventually notice it.
Your ex will see that you’re bitter and anxious and that you don’t want to handle the breakup maturely.
When your ex sees you acting so emotionally, your ex will likely lose more respect for you because your ex will see that you’re greatly affected by the breakup and that you’ll be difficult to talk to.
Don’t forget that dumpers also check up on their exes. They may not do it as often as dumpees, but they certainly get curious from time to time and stalk their exes. If they find out they’re blocked, they don’t get so hurt that they ask to get unblocked.
They normally just see their ex acting unattractively and confirm their reasons for abandoning their ex.
That’s why if you’re going to block your ex, do it when you’re not trying to get your ex back anymore. Block your ex if your ex won’t stop calling/texting you, sending you pictures, manipulating you, disrespecting you, and if you don’t have any reconciliation hope or feelings.
If you’re over your ex and tired of telling your ex to respect your space and privacy, you can probably block your dumper ex right away and stop your ex from gaining access to your life ever again.
In today’s article, we discuss what to do if you blocked your ex on everything.
I blocked my ex on everything
Blocking your ex on everything doesn’t completely ruin your chances of getting back together. It does, however, reduce them because it reminds your ex of your past unhealthy behaviors and makes your ex want to be with you even less.
You must remember that blocking ensures mutual dislike or hatred. The moment you tell your ex you don’t like him or her, your ex will feel the same way about you. Your ex may not block you back (not every dumper does that), but your ex will probably see that you haven’t learned anything from the breakup and that leaving you was the right thing to do.
If you still have hope and wish to be with your ex, I encourage you not to block your ex. You don’t want your ex to know you’re resentful and that you have a hard time controlling your emotions. You want your ex to know you’re doing okay and that you have the skills and willpower to move on and enjoy life.
That’s the most attractive message you can send to anyone, not just your ex.
So don’t indirectly tell your ex you’re bitter and incapable of parting ways respectfully. Ending things in such a way is not how your ex should remember you. Not if you want your ex to respect you and come back.
To maximize your chances of reconciliation, you must appear emotionally strong and independent. You must be a positive force and a person your ex could regret leaving. And your ex could regret leaving you if you handle stressors and rejections confidently and maturely.
This is the most basic thing your ex needs from you to respect you. Without respect, your ex won’t develop feelings either. Your ex will view you as the person who ruined the relationship and deserved to get punished for it.
So whether you’re a man, a woman, or anything in between, know that blocking your ex isn’t the solution to making your ex realize what a great person you are. Blocking doesn’t hurt your ex in ways that would affect your ex’s self-esteem and force your ex to come running back.
All blocking does is reject your ex’s personality and behaviors and prevent your ex from causing you more problems. The main question is whether you’re prepared for the consequences of blocking your ex. Are you done and over with the dumper?
If you are, then it doesn’t matter what you do in terms of reconciliation. All that matters is that you do what’s necessary for your morality and growth. And what’s necessary for these things is that you start handling negative emotions maturely rather than running away from them.
If your ex is leaving you alone, there’s simply no need to block your ex. There are better ways to keep your ex out of sight. You can just unfollow your ex and be done with it. Most social media platforms let you do that with just a few clicks.
Showing your ex you’re angry won’t give you the validation you crave. It won’t help you move on and have a better relationship next time either. So unfollow your ex or better yet, stay off social media for a while. You’ll feel much better if you distance yourself from your pre-breakup life and have a new beginning.
Work on detaching from your ex by controlling your temptations to check up on your ex and asking your friends not to update you on your ex. You’ll heal quicker and develop good self-control if you learn more about breakups and practice letting go affirmations such as “I don’t need to know what my ex is doing, I’m moving on from my ex.”
Telling yourself that you don’t need to do anything drastic after the breakup will help you regain control of your emotions and turn you into the person you want to be.
I know that blocking your ex on everything feels tempting because it helps you get back at your ex and get rid of your ex. But if you want to do the right thing and get what you can out of it, you should avoid hating your ex and showing your ex that you hate him or her.
Bitterness doesn’t save relationships, nor people. It makes them more resentful and tempted to do resentful things.
Sometimes life requires us to be mature, level-headed, and non-reactive. This may not seem like the most beneficial short-term solution when we’re hurting, but not all good solutions require us to act right away. From my experience, the best solutions require us to exercise prudence and self-awareness.
We can do that by refusing to act on impulse and doing what is right rather than what feels right. If we follow our instincts and act on them, we tend to make bad choices as emotional responses seldom help us long-term.
They only make us feel better momentarily.
Couples who block each other during or after the breakup are perfect examples of how impulsivity doesn’t help anyone. Such couples often continue acting on emotions for months to come and as a result, fail to break their blocking patterns.
They both see themselves as victims and by doing so, react no better than they did when they were together.
I have to say I wanted to block my ex too. I wanted to do many hurtful things to show I didn’t care, including demanding that she paid me back immediately. But had I done that, I would have proven the opposite of what I was trying to prove.
I’d have revealed how prideful, hurt, and stubborn I was and that I was a highly reactive person who wasn’t capable of accepting the breakup and the injustice I experienced. That would have made me feel weak and impulsive and forced me to blame myself for making my ex dislike me even more.
Back then, I wasn’t ready to get on my ex’s bad side. I was still in the process of accepting the breakup and hoping she’d come back. Today, things are different. I’m over her and don’t care how she perceives me. I only care about my perception of myself.
I accept the mistakes I made and wish to keep moving on with a clear conscience.
So if you’re going to block your ex, do it when two conditions are met:
- You don’t want your ex back.
- Your ex doesn’t let you focus on yourself and heal.
If your ex is constantly reaching out and you’ve asked him or her not to, block your ex. You probably won’t feel bad for blocking your ex because you’ll know your ex has no intention of coming back and working on the relationship.
You’ll know he or she is only interested in breadcrumbing you, which coincidentally, resets your healing and makes you miserable. Such an ex should indeed get blocked and pushed out of sight. He or she should be told or shown that you wish to prioritize your well-being and that you’ll do whatever it takes to be happy.
Fortunately, most dumpers don’t need to be blocked. If they’re asked or told not to reach out, they usually respect their ex’s request and leave their ex’s alone. They don’t bother their ex with guilt, nostalgia, and problems of their own because they know it’d be unfair to their ex.
With that said, here are 6 reasons why you shouldn’t block your ex on everything after the breakup.
What if I already blocked my ex on everything? Will he come back?
If you already blocked your ex and it’s only been a few days or less, you can just unblock your ex. Don’t message your ex afterward and apologize for saying certain things and blocking him or her. Just ignore the fact that emotions got the best of you and keep moving forward.
Your ex doesn’t need to know what’s going on with you emotionally. He or she doesn’t even care. You need to keep your emotions to yourself and stay far away from your ex. It’s what your ex has asked for.
On the other hand, if it’s been longer than a few days since you blocked your ex, then you can either unblock your ex or leave things as they are. I suggest you leave your ex blocked so your ex doesn’t see that you’re blocking and unblocking and checking up on him or her all the time.
When your ex visits your profile, your ex shouldn’t see that you’ve been liking/unliking, blocking/unblocking, and wasting your time with a person who no longer matters. The only changes your ex should see on your social profiles are your relationship status and the pictures you had with your ex.
So if you blocked your ex on everything and you’re not sure what to do next, unblock your ex if you blocked your ex impulsively and recently. On the other hand, if it’s been a while and your ex likely already saw that he or she’s blocked, it may be best to just leave things as they are.
You don’t want to appear capricious and obsessed. This is especially true if you blocked your ex because your ex wouldn’t stop bothering you. Always remember that you need to put yourself first and that you have more important things to worry about now that your ex is gone.
If your ex has a change of heart, your ex will find other ways to get in touch with you. Your ex will contact your family and friends and even create alternate accounts and numbers to reach out.
You just need to stay busy and work on becoming the best version of yourself.
Did you block your ex on everything? Are you regretting it or are you glad you did it? We’d like to hear what you think, so share your views and experiences below.
And lastly, if you want to talk to us about whether you should block your ex on everything, sign up for coaching here.
