What questions for a first date will tell you what you want to know about a new man you’re just meeting? Or is there a better approach?
What’s Your Strategy to Decide If a Guy Meets Your Criteria?
Do you ask the tough questions on a first date? What questions for a first date should you ask? Maybe you spring them on a new guy during that first phone call?
There are several reasons why that’s NOT the best way to get to know a new man or determine if he could be a real prospect for love.
Women ask me all the time what kind of questions to ask on a first date and what they can do to qualify a guy quickly. No one wants to waste time. That’s understandable.
The trouble is, at the very same time, he’s summing you up too. He’s trying to figure out if you’re a nice person, fun to spend time with, or likely to nag him to death down the road.
Keeping in mind that he’s judging you while you are judging him, you’ve got to take a different approach than the typical direct questioning technique. I encourage you to stop focusing on what questions for a first date you should prepare.
What can you do? I suggest something completely different which I’ll explain in a minute.
Why Do Women Try So Hard?
Over the past 20 years as a love and dating coach, I’ve noticed that women often try too hard to figure out who a man is and if he could be “The One” from the moment they connect.
While it’s great to be focused and know exactly what you are looking for in a partner, there just aren’t any perfect questions to get the answers you really need.
In addition, you don’t need to go overboard trying to please or impress a new guy. That doesn’t work either.
Instead, let me make this process a whole lot easier for you. Just try to have a good time and be yourself.
The Tough Questions Kill Your Appeal
Going on a fact-finding mission to learn why he got divorced, what his ex is like, and if he’s looking for a new wife will not create an atmosphere of easy-going, light-hearted fun.
Rather than making a great impression on him, you risk looking like an intense woman who doesn’t know how to relax or have a good time. That alone could easily disqualify you from a man’s perspective. Yikes!
Will a Man Answer Your Direct Questions Honestly?
Think about it. Why would a man even answer these pointed and invasive questions?
If the guy is a narcissist and his wife dumped him, is he going to admit to that? If he cheated on his ex, will he admit that? No!
How a guy answers your probing inquiries is NEVER going to tell you what you want to know because he can LIE. He could also be evasive, change the subject, or laugh.
Don’t Bring Up His Ex
Let’s say you happen to be out with a quality guy. A really good man who might have true potential as your future mate. That’s an exciting opportunity that you don’t want to spoil!
Then you bring up his ex and it’s almost like she’s now on the date with you. And his mood is shot to hell. Don’t do it!
So, if it’s not about pressing him for answers to the perfect questions for a first date, how can you tell if he’s the right guy?
Watch What He Does, Not What He Says
A man’s actions tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about his potential as your romantic partner.
To see if a new guy could be a match, make a list of the qualities you want, such as fun, considerate, intelligent, family-oriented, social, etc.
Next, make a short list of your deal-breakers like addictions, rude, cheap, thoughtless, unreliable, etc.
Then go out and relax!
Now your job on a first date is to see if the conversation flows and how you feel in his company. Do you get his sense of humor and does he even have one?
Forget all about those questions for a first date.
Notice his behavior. Is he on time, a good tipper, nice to the waitstaff, and well-groomed? Watch for him to demonstrate who he is, rather than TELL you.
Most importantly, see if he calls to ask you out again.
The Fun and Easy Way to Get to Know a New Man
When you stop trying to qualify a guy on a first date, you can sit back, relax, and be yourself. That’s how you will shine and be your most attractive!
This is SO MUCH EASIER, isn’t it? And a heck of a lot more fun.
You can relax, enjoy yourself, meet some new guys, and see what happens. Stop trying so hard and let those men weed themselves out.
A man will qualify himself if you let him. Then you can stop working so darn hard at dating and just have fun.
That’s my best dating advice which worked for me and for so many of my happy clients!
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Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.