The #1 Reason People Unmatch on Dating Apps

If you use dating apps, you know this scenario: you’re talking to someone who you’ve matched with, and then out of nowhere, their chat disappears. You’ve been unmatched, without any warning. They didn’t even wish you luck on your search. They just ghosted you.

You’re left with only one question: why?

Let’s be real: every unmatching experience is different, and sometimes something we’ve said or done did trigger it. Research has found the most common reason people unmatch, and it’s probably not what you might think. Let’s take a look at the #1 reason people unmatch on dating apps.

The Most Common Reason People Unmatch on Dating Apps

We often assume that we get ghosted on dating apps because the other person is being rude. But, in most cases, the real reason is far simpler than that.

According to research, users unmatch and log off dating apps due to their experiences on the apps themselves, with the most common reasons being frustration with how interactions unfold and a lack of good connections. The same study found that users progressively detached when their interactions didn’t meet their expectations or didn’t lead to a meaningful connection.

So, in other words, people often unmatch because they don’t feel a good connection.

Why This Can Make Using Dating Apps Harder

Let’s be honest. It can be difficult to feel a strong connection with someone through text. This is what makes app dating a lot more challenging than dating IRL. Forming a connection from your phone isn’t easy.

But dating apps also provide an environment where we don’t need to work on forming connections with other people. Thanks to an endless stream of accounts to swipe on, people quickly disengage and move on to their next match. Dating app users have short attention spans and make instant judgments on other users based on bios and profile pictures.

What This Means for Your Dating App Matches

Understanding why people unmatch on dating apps helps us realize it’s not personal. Unmatching is based on user expectations, not your worth.

But there are a few things you can do to try to prevent this problem from affecting you. Here are some quick tips:

Post an intriguing bio and share a variety of photos of yourself. Nowadays, it’s crucial to stand out!
Ask engaging questions from the get-go. Switch it up! Ask questions about their bio or start your conversation with a fun game, like two truths and a lie. This will help you stand out.
Aim to meet your matches sooner rather than later to see if there’s IRL chemistry. It’s hard to tell behind a text, so ask to meet up for a coffee date, drinks, or a walk at a (busy) park to see if there’s a connection when you meet in person.

The Bottom Line

There are many reasons people unmatch on dating apps, but a lack of connection is one of the most common. Making an effort to stand out and to build connections with other users IRL, rather than on the app, is one great way to overcome this. But if someone unmatches you, don’t take it personally. It just means it wasn’t meant to be — and that’s perfectly okay.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.