Think About the Why

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When actor and entrepreneur Arvind Swamy visited my workplace recently, I thought he’d talk about films, fame or may be enterpreneurship. Instead, he started with something surprisingly simple: “Don’t forget the why.”

He said too often, we get caught up in what we’re doing and how we’re doing it — the targets, the timelines, the to-do lists. But if we don’t pause to ask why, we’re basically hamsters on a wheel.. except less cute and with way more coffee.

“When you know your why,” he said, “you stop running someone else’s race. You begin running your own.”

That line stayed with me.

I’ve had days where my calendar was so packed it looked impressive. Meetings, program updates, milestones checked off — I could almost hear the productivity angels applauding. And yet, when I logged off, I felt more drained than fulfilled.

That’s when Arvind’s words clicked: it wasn’t about the workload, it was about the why behind it. (And no, “because it was on the calendar invite” does not count as a why — I’ve tried. Spoiler: it did not spark joy.)

It made me realize that half the stress comes not from what we’re doing, but from running around without remembering why we signed up in the first place. Like ordering a mystery dish at a restaurant and then pretending you meant to order it.

It reminded me of a my son the other day. He had to finish a drawing for his art class but was dragging his feet. I asked him why he was procrastinating so much. He looked at me very seriously and said, “Because you want me to finish it, not because I want to.”

There it was. His why didn’t match mine. And because of that, no amount of “what” or “how” was going to make him enthusiastic.

Of course, once he found his why — which, in his case, was showing it off proudly to our neighbor — he finished that drawing in record time, with more colors than I thought we owned.

Different context, same lesson: purpose changes energy. (And also, kids are apparently born negotiation experts — I’m still waiting for mine to share his consulting rates.)

Arvind admitted that when he lost sight of his why, achievements didn’t feel fulfilling. That struck me yet again. Because isn’t that what happens to us too? We chase the next milestone thinking it’ll feel different, only to find ourselves back on the same treadmill.

Purpose doesn’t make the treadmill vanish. But atleast it explains why you’re running — instead of just wondering who turned up the speed and forgot to tell you. And if you’re anything like me, sometimes the treadmill is set to “sprint” while your why is still tying its shoelaces.

Since that talk, I’ve tried to pause more often and ask: Why am I doing this? Not in a heavy, existential way — I save that for when I’m stuck in traffic — but in a way that helps me see whether I’m aligned or just reacting.

And the answer isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes my why is as simple as “I want to learn something new” or “I want to support someone else.” But the clarity makes the day lighter. And let’s be honest, most days I’m just grateful if my why shows up before my second cup of coffee.

If my son taught me anything (with a box of crayons as evidence), once you find your why, the rest follows a lot faster. And maybe with a few extra colors.

~Ashmita, still finding my why (and occasionally losing it between coffee breaks and calendar invites).

#FindingTheWhy #MessyButBeautiful #DaryenTeaches #AshmitaWrites #UnscriptedConnections #WorkplaceHumor #MotivationWithASmile

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This post was previously published on medium.com.