“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” ~Anne Lamott
I used to believe that success meant always being available. Always saying yes. Always responding immediately to emails, Slack pings, texts, whatever was thrown my way. Because if I stopped—even for a second—I might fall behind. And if I wasn’t working harder than everyone else, was I even working hard enough?
For years, that mindset worked. Or so I thought. Every win, every promotion, every new milestone felt like adding fuel to the fire. The more I ‘succeeded’ by society’s standards—the title, the career, the financial stability—the more I pushed myself to do more, to be more.
My perfectionism kicked in, too. I didn’t just want to succeed; I wanted to be perfect at everything—career, leadership, motherhood, marriage, friendships. And I never removed anything from my plate—I just kept stacking it higher.
I climbed the corporate ladder, became the first female VP in a 300-person marketing org at a Fortune 500 company, and checked every success box that should have made me feel accomplished. But instead of feeling fulfilled, I felt… empty. Exhausted. Like I was running on fumes but too scared to stop.
And then one day, my body gave me no choice but to stop. It wasn’t a slow fade or a warning sign I could ignore—it was like someone pulled the plug. I went from a high-functioning overachiever to someone who couldn’t even form a sentence without feeling mentally drained.
Not just stress. Not just exhaustion. A full-body, full-brain shutdown. Emails didn’t make sense. Conversations felt like static. I couldn’t process thoughts.
My brain hit the off switch, and I didn’t know how to turn it back on. I sat at my desk, staring at my screen, and for the first time in my life, I physically couldn’t push through.
That moment scared me more than anything.
Five years before my full breakdown, I had already been on a collision course. In that short span of time, I became a mother, got promoted to director, took on more teams and responsibilities, lost my sister and grandmother, and moved into a new house—which promptly caught fire.
But I still kept pushing, still kept performing, because slowing down wasn’t an option. Until my body made it one.
I remember sitting in my car after work, gripping the steering wheel, staring blankly ahead. I had nothing left.
It wasn’t just exhaustion; it was something deeper, something that made me feel like I had lost control over my own mind and body. I had built my entire identity on being productive, on being the go-to person, the one who always delivered.
But now I had nothing left to give. And I had no idea how to fix it.
What I Learned from My Breaking Point
But how did I get to that point?
How did I go from thriving on the hustle to completely shutting down?
Looking back, the signs were all there—I just ignored them.
The late nights, the skipped meals, the creeping exhaustion I kept brushing off as ‘just part of the job.’ My body had been warning me for years, and I didn’t listen. Until I had no choice.
That breaking point forced me to ask myself something I had spent my whole life avoiding:
What am I chasing, and at what cost?
Here’s what finally made me realize I couldn’t keep going like this (and what I wish I had figured out before I hit rock bottom):
1. Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.
For the longest time, I thought sleeping more would fix everything. I watched a MasterClass with Dr. Matt Walker (a sleep expert) and learned all about chronotypes—morning larks vs. night owls. I knew I was a morning lark, so I figured, Great, I’ll just get to bed earlier, and that should do it!
Except, it didn’t.
I’d lie there at night, my body still, but my brain running marathons.
- Did I give my kiddo his medication?
- Did someone feed the dog?
- Is my team member feeling better after being out sick?
- Crap, I forgot to move the laundry. Now I have two choices: leave it and deal with the stink tomorrow, or drag myself out of bed to fix it.
That’s when I realized that rest isn’t just about sleep. It’s about giving your mind and body a real reset.
I found that when I spent time in my garden, I had more patience with others.
I picked up crocheting for the first time in twenty-five years, making beanies like my life depended on it. They were adorable—and it brought me a peace I hadn’t felt in years.
I started playing board games with my kids, laughing around the table instead of rushing them to bed just so I could jump back online and “get ahead.”
For years, I treated parenting like a responsibility (which, to be fair, it is), but I never just let time be. Everything had been a task to complete, a schedule to follow. But slowing down, being present, laughing with my family—THAT felt like true rest.
Rest isn’t just about stopping. It’s about resetting in a way that actually fuels you.
2. Ambition and balance can co-exist.
Let’s be real—I’m still a work in progress when it comes to boundaries. But one of the biggest shifts I made was realizing that everything in life is a season.
I used to overthink every decision. Saying no felt heavy, like I was closing a door forever. But once I started thinking in seasons, everything changed.
- Instead of “no,” I started saying “not right now.” This made boundaries feel lighter and easier to stick to.
- I got clear on my non-negotiables. If something filled my cup, it got priority time. If something drained me? It was time to let it go.
For years, I was the kind of leader who said things like “I support your decision” when someone needed time off—but the undertone was always “but we really need you here.” The unspoken pressure to overwork was real.
Now, I build my life around people who encourage me to invest in myself—not just support it, but push me to do it. And that makes all the difference.
3. If stopping feels scary, that’s a sign you need to stop.
I was terrified to slow down. I had built my entire reputation on:
✔ Always being available (Praised!)
✔ Always performing at the top (Praised!)
✔ Living every aspect of hustle culture (Praised!).
It was my identity. So, if I stopped… who even was I?
What if I had worked my butt off for nothing?
What if people stopped seeing me as “successful”—would they think I was a failure?
I’m still in this transition, and honestly, it’s still scary. But leaning into the unknown is part of redefining success. That’s what makes it feel less terrifying.
I used to believe success = status, power, money.
Now, I see success as something bigger—health, joy, presence.
And while I won’t pretend it’s easy, I can tell you this: it’s worth it.
What This Means for You
If you’re reading this, wondering why—despite all your effort—you still feel exhausted, stuck, or empty… I get it. I’ve sat in that same place, running on fumes, convinced that pushing harder was the answer. But it’s not. It never was.
You don’t have to break before you start making changes. Small shifts—pausing, setting boundaries, rethinking what success actually means—can save you from ever reaching that breaking point.
Take the break now. Reclaim your energy now. Redefine success now. Because the life you want isn’t waiting on your next achievement—it’s waiting on you to stop running long enough to actually live it.
About Kris Licata
Kris Licata is a former corporate leader who knows firsthand how hustle culture disguises itself as ambition. Now, she helps high-achievers break free from burnout and redefine success on their own terms. As the founder of Break & Bloom, she creates experiences that help overachievers reset through creativity, connection, and humor—because success should fuel you, not drain you. Follow her journey and get real, relatable insights at krislicata.com.
