What You Can Learn About Men From “The Golden Bachelor”
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I know you might not be into “The Golden Bachelor” but there are still important tips to note about over 50’s dating from what’s happening inside each of these episodes.
That’s why today, we’re going to be talking about three tips from Episode #2 of “The Golden Bachelor” and how they can make or break you in finding love after 50.
Let’s start with a common RED FLAG that shows up when you start thinking a man is perfect for you and has potential to be the one early in the game.
When this happens, it means you’ve gotten attached to the outcome of how you want things to turn out with a man.
And when it doesn’t go the way you expected, well this is what happens . . .
In this episode, the woman who got the first impression rose is sharing with Gerry that they’d had such an amazing connection from the get-go.
She expressed her frustration at missing an opportunity to really talk with him again since she wasn’t involved in the planned dating activities that day.
She also voiced how concerned she was that he might forget her.
So, listen up . . . sharing your anxiety and anxiousness is not the way to spend your time talking with a man you like and haven’t seen for a while.
The reason you don’t want to do this is because you come across as needy and desperate for attention.
A better way to have reconnected the feelings they’d shared on Episode #1 would have been to just start talking, laughing, and sharing about their lives again. (flirting would be good too!)
This type of interaction is memorable whereas complaining puts pressure on the other person to fulfill something in you that’s missing. (As nice as that would be, no one can really do that for you except you.)
Complaining usually pushes someone away because the energy feels so negative and blame-oriented.
I understand the pressure she feels to stay in his memory.
She is competing against 19 other women, and she wants to make sure he remembers her, but don’t do what she did expressing her anxiety.
It’s not going to get you what you want – the guy you like.
Instead, turn whatever time you have together into a fun time. That’s memorable and connects you again!
Let’s move on to what 2 women did in this episode that you want to be doing in over 50’s dating.
Gerry had a first date with one of the women at a fun diner that brought back memories of a restaurant he’d owned in Indiana before retiring.
The producers gave him a really cute and tiny convertible and then had him driving around LA on unfamiliar roads at night.
He doesn’t know the traffic patterns and thinks the headlights aren’t working.
Men are wired to keep you safe, protected and provided for to the best of their ability and Gerry wasn’t feeling so confident about this experience.
Actually, it was making him nervous until the woman he was with reached over patted him on the arm, leaned her head against his shoulder and said, “I think you’re doing a great job.”
So what did she do for Gerry?
By encouraging him, she made him feel better about himself.
I wasn’t in his head but you could see he was concerned about getting her safely to where they were going with no headlights.
She stepped up and made him feel good while coming across as caring and compassionate which was something he liked and appreciated.
In the real world when you are with someone you love, there will be good times and bad times to maneuver together.
And how you handle them can make or break your relationship.
Good times are pretty easy to work through.
It’s the tough times when you’re nervous, or when you’re anxious that are easier to navigate when your partner lets you know they have your back and she did this for Gerry. (BTW . . . this is a two way street. Men want do this for women too.)
I have to be honest here.
I had never watched “The Bachelor” before “The Golden Bachelor” so I was surprised that the next event was a group date where they all dressed up in interesting outfits and costumes and had individual pictures taken with Gerry.
The thing I loved about these women was their authenticity.
Authenticity is really important in dating.
You want to be yourself.
And the reason you want to be yourself is because you cannot sustain being someone else for long periods of time.
So be you because you want someone who loves you just the way you are.
I valued how these women and Gerry showed us their vulnerability as they shared stories with each other about their late spouses.
Now, talking about past relationships isn’t always the best thing to do because it means the energy of 3 are on the date but it seemed to work for them connection wise.
Hopefully, they will get into other topics as they get to know each other because we are more than just the people we’ve shared our lives with. (And besides his good looks and kind heart, we still don’t know much about Gerry)
Overall, I think “The Golden Bachelor” is fun reality TV.
It’s nice to see the support and wisdom Gerry and the women convey having lived life 60 + years. (My understanding is the 20 and 30 year olds on the original series are pretty shallow and cut-throat.)
And it’s charming to see a man who has such compassion, especially when he tears up because he can’t give roses to all the women.
It’s nice to see Gerry and the women feel hope again that they can find love at this time in their lives. They can!!!!!
Would love to hear your thoughts.
Believing in you!
Big hugs ~
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