Leaving Because You Need More From A Relationship?

WONDERING WHY

Do you dread settling? Are your requirements of the highest magnitude? Do you refuse to accept less than you deserve? Sometimes these statements are tell-tale signs. Signs of a story. A story which can never have an ending. A story which you tell yourself over and over. Like a chapter you must re-read. You swear it only requires one more edit before you publish — only to discover the editor isn’t publishing anymore.

THE IDEA OF NUMBER ONE

In our endless pursuits to attain accomplishments we strive. Americans are well known for tenacity, competitiveness and the belief they live in the greatest country in the world. Whether this is true or not does not matter for the point I intend to illustrate. We hear this ideology in political speeches often. The words, “America is the greatest country in the world,” is repeated by many in Americans. We are encouraged to be proud and patriotic. Never is a thought or consideration lent to an alternative. These statements are ignorantly believed because en masse nearly no American really travels.

I use ignorance in the context of the word. Ignorance means “unaware” or “unknown”. Many Americans would be surprised how more advanced Ukraine’s banking system is than the United States. But then again…you wouldn’t know that unless you travel there. Hence my point. Ignorance.

One can remain loyal to one’s country and still remain objective about reality.

I recall my 20s and early 30s very well. I suffered from self-diagnosed “Grand Delusion”. I believed, to whatever detriment, I could accomplish anything under any circumstance. Nothing and no one could rise above me. This delusion was fed by numerous accomplishments and consistent results which fortified this ideology.

A very capable person can be deluded into believing they are God’s gift to mankind. This is a very toxic belief. For it prevents humility, temperance, and self-improvement. One must ask and ponder, “How long has this poisonous idea festered throughout modern American society?”

The idea of Americanism being the number one ideology is reinforced in American politics. The obvious superiority of American Military & Intelligence creates improper application that superiority in a few categories means superiority in all categories. The strategies of Soft Power and Hard Power are expertly deployed by American politicians. It is on grand display in news media, and alternative media. Nearly every politician states, “In the interest of democracy do this or else…”

The irony is America is not a pure democracy. America is a constitutional federal republic (White House Website) whose citizens vote for elected representatives. Individuals like John Locke and Charles de Montesquieu really set the precedent for America. None believed in pure democracies. It is only natural to conclude leaders of any state influence the thoughts of its citizens. In America, we vote to elect these ideologies. This may seem like a long correlation explanation to relationships, but it is not.

To address a romantic issue of always needing something more, we must address the underlying root cause of American ideology that nothing else matters but what America thinks. This applies to both sexes.

NOW WE UNDERSTAND NEEDING MORE

It really is not hard to understand why Americans tend to have high standards for their spouses. By no means am I saying standards should not be adopted. The standards of kindness, humility, empathy, selflessness, sacrifice and loyalty are wonderful.

These moral standards should be encouraged. I think my fellow modern Americans have forgotten what realistic standards are. Modern Americans have also confused behavioral standards with moral standards. Americans want others to behave like they want not to uphold some specific moral. I think this had led modern Americans to forget the concept of “Progress not perfection.”

I understand the desire to have things show up completed. No one likes an unassembled Amazon delivery. No one wishes for a Door Dash which requires you to reheat it. Few accept text responses which require empathetic questions to clarify intent— as God forbid someone focus on something besides a notification.

I think you might be getting my point.

NUMBER ONE TRANSLATES AS

Selfish. Yes. I said it. It seems most people have forgotten others have feelings, morals and principles developed independent of them. America is undergoing an extreme case of individualism in our modern generation. It is called Hyper Individualism.

A relationship is about learning how to co-operate with one another. Hyper Individualism is at odds with cooperation. As Hyper Individualism mandates constant deference to one individual’s feelings or opinions. It is natural that opposing principles will sometimes bump heads. These principles often encourage the development of different priorities. These priorities take the form of different virtues.

For instance, a sole provider must be: assertive, resilient, focused and confident. Should this sole provider encounter another like themselves these values can be seen by an identical counterpart as: aggressive, stubborn, neglectful and arrogant.

In this sense, if both want to be together, they must learn to co-operate not fight over who assumes control of what. I believe this has been a sore spot even in my own marriage. As I married an independent woman instead of an interdependent woman. She often views the surrender of her independence as some form of sacrifice; whereas, a woman who naturally looks for a primary provider would be enthralled at seeking to support the goals of a leader. The nature of two identical personalities creates conflict. Conflict does not need to be a fight. Nor does conflict need to become an argument. In this case conflict is about understanding that this type of relationship is way more challenging — as inherently it is not complementary, nor does it begin with any harmony.

Despite an identical relationship lacking complementary nature, it can be extremely beneficial. Should one get ill — the other will find a way to solely provide. Should one become absent the other will find a way to be present. It is about perspective. One must also be willing to recognize, “Standards are meant to be moral not behavioral,” for this type of relationship to work.

If you are in a healthy moral relationship, where both don’t seem to complement each other, the problem might be you. You might need to learn how to cooperate. American society is incredibly individualistic. Americans choose their own values and morals completely independent of others. In the age of American Hyper Individualism, we can learn to amplify each other instead of divorcing each other. Albeit it is difficult but not impossible. I can personally attest to it — as choosing a Hyper Individualistic woman required me to develop non existent virtues.

IN CLOSING

Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit” to read about how I look at things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you to accomplish things like what we have discussed in today’s article. I have a free podcast called Hustle Kick as well which teaches you how to hustle for free.

You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight on some of the psychology I use to take me through difficult circumstances.

Don’t become a passport bro or passport gal. Learn how to rise to the occasion of adopting cooperation. You will develop additional virtues like: patience, temperance, empathy and self-restraint. It will be challenging for sure but this accomplishment will work wonders for you outside the home. You will be a better person for it. As I have. This, I can promise.

To Your Knowledge Success!

Sources

1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.

2) As Hyperlinked throughout the article.

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.

About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.