How I Lost My Voice, and Slowly Found it Again

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What I did not expect were the challenges that I was about to face by not being able to adjust to the new environment, but by surviving in it. My in-laws, whom I believed to be my own family members, were not only difficult, but they were toxic, manipulative, and emotionally breaking me down in the name of rituals.

No one warns you that the biggest threat comes from the in-laws who claim to be your well-wishers and “new family”.

This is not just a tale about my bad relationship with my husband and his family members. It is the story of emotional turmoil that was about to take my life and the courage it takes to address the abuse when it is oblivious to the world in the form of rituals, expectations, and family ties.

Ours was an arranged marriage, which got materialised only by a few meetings (three meetings to be precise) and a few phone calls from my husband. Before marriage, I put a few conditions on him, to which he nodded positively.

Abuse in One Month of Marriage

The real abuse started the day of our reception. We were on stage, and the photographer asked us to pose in different angles. While making different poses with each other, my mother-in-law started interrupting by saying, “What would people think? Don’t you have a shame?”

I did not utter a single word then, but what’s shameful in taking a photograph after marriage by holding hands of your husband?

Then we have a tradition of visiting the bride’s paternal house for the purpose of meeting the family members on the seventh day of the marriage. While getting ready and dressing up, my mother-in-law said, “ What a girl I wanted for this house, look what I got.” This dialogue had made me upset. How can someone judge the ability of a girl in just seven days? I hid my tears behind fake smiles and proceeded towards my home with my husband.

On the seventeenth day of my marriage, after all the relatives had gone to their homes, I was left with my mother-in-law and husband at his home. I was asked to get dressed up in a Salwar Suit. I was excited to wear a maroon color dress that I had purchased with my mother. Furthermore, I received a comment from my mother-in-law that I looked like a two-month-old pregnant lady.

This comment shattered my heart to the core. This was unbearable for me. This comment was against my value system. I chose silence then because my husband did not utter a single word against his mother, but he supported her.

Daily, I would be taunted for my cooking skills and Sanskara by my mother-in-law. She was never satisfied with me. Sometimes, I felt as if my marriage was against her will. She was the only one who visited my house before my marriage to see me and finalize the marriage.

I remember very well, it was Rath Yatra on July 1st, 2022. She started fighting with me over a silly thing. She called my mother and used unparliamentary words to describe how I behaved with her. She was questioning my age and the way I worked. It was as if she were unaware of my age before marriage. I cried the whole day and prayed to God to fix things as soon as possible.

A few days later, she visited her daughter’s house for about two and a half months.

To be continued….

A Soulful Writer

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