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Here is a summary of the transcript from YouTube, slightly edited with AI.
Frustration With the Apps?
Nearly half of U.S. adults say that dating is harder now than it was a decade ago. If you are frustrated with endless swiping, ghosting, and dead-end chats, you are not alone.
One Reddit user wrote, “I have wasted so much time trying to meet people through apps. In eight years, I have met zero people in person.”
If any of that resonates—the cynicism, the fatigue, the “will I die alone?” jokes—take a breath. You are not doomed.
Pew data from 2023 shows that only about one in ten couples actually met through an app. Now, that number might be a bit higher today—perhaps around 25 to 30%—but over half of people still meet through everyday life: friends, work, or chance encounters.
So in this video, I want to share five practical tips for how you can meet people offline—whether you’re taking a break from the apps or you just want to know that you don’t need them.
1. Say “Yes” to Invitations You Would Normally Decline
There have been studies on our thoughts showing that we have thousands of thoughts a day—and most of them are the exact same thoughts we had yesterday.
I think the same is true of what we do day in and day out. Most of our lives are routine. They’re repetition. So if we want to meet new people, we have to start introducing some newness into our lives.
I remember going back to London one Christmas. A friend I rarely saw invited me to his engagement party. I didn’t really want to go. I was tired. I was jetlagged. But I said yes.
And I am so grateful I did, because that decision changed the course of my entire life. That party is where I met my wife, Audrey.
Even if you don’t meet the love of your life, every invitation is an opportunity to expand your network. You might not meet someone romantically, but you might meet someone who introduces you to someone else down the line.
The people especially valuable to this strategy are what we call your “weak ties”—acquaintances, people you don’t know that well, people you don’t see very often.
I know it’s scary and outside your comfort zone to go where you don’t know many people. But you never know when it’s going to pay off in a life-changing way.
Rewire the Emotional Patterns of a Lifetime
Speaking of getting outside your comfort zone, this is your last chance to join my one and only retreat for 2025, happening in the next two weeks.
The retreat will show you how to rewire the deep emotional patterns of a lifetime so that you can finally see what’s possible for you in love and in life when you step into the most confident, calm, and powerful version of yourself.
For the first time ever, you can do the retreat from home with the virtual experience—for just $195.
Head to retreataccess.com to grab your ticket.
If you’re busy that weekend, you’ll also get two weeks to watch the replay. Plus, I’m including 30 days of free access to Matthew AI so you can continue getting support after the retreat.
If you miss this one, you’ll have to wait a whole year. So grab your ticket today—I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.
2. Set Yourself Micro Missions
When you say yes to invitations you’d normally decline, excuses come up—time, energy, introversion.
This is where strategy number two comes in: set yourself micro missions.
When I used to travel around the world doing events, I’d get to my hotel after a flight and be completely on my own. Back then, I couldn’t afford a team to travel with me.
I’d feel torn. I should go out and see the city. But I also wanted to stay in bed and order room service, as the introvert that I am.
Here’s what I did. I set a rule: I had to go somewhere nearby—a small bar or coffee shop—and have one drink. That’s it. One drink. After that, I could come home, order room service, and go to bed.
The beauty of this mission was twofold. First, I did it because I lowered the stakes. Second, sometimes things happened. I met people. I had a great night. Not always—but sometimes.
And those moments would never have happened if I hadn’t set an easy-to-complete mission.
You can do the same. Decide how long you’ll stay somewhere. “I’ll go for 30 minutes or one hour, and if I’m not having a good time, I can go home.”
You can also set a consistency mission. “I’m going to do one new thing outside my routine once every two weeks.”
Remember: trajectory over intensity.
Or set a social mission. If you go to a party where you don’t know many people, focus on meeting just one new person. You don’t have to work the whole room. Just have one meaningful interaction.
3. Practice Tiny Interactions
Strategy number three: practice tiny interactions.
Make it a point to chat briefly with people as you move through your day in low-stakes ways.
Compliment someone’s cool T-shirt in line at the grocery store. Ask a barista how their day is going. Compliment someone’s pet: “Your dog is adorable—what’s his name?”
These micro-interactions do two things.
First, they remind your brain that most people are friendly and happy to chat when approached kindly.
Second, they make you more confident when it matters. It’s like warming up before a big game.
If the choice is between saying something obvious and saying nothing at all, choose the obvious thing every time.
One of my favorite mindsets is this: I want to go into every room and make other people brave. If I make it easy for them to talk to me by being warm and friendly, more people will.
Invest in Something That Sparks Joy
Audrey and I are in full minimalism mode, getting ready for a baby. We’re bringing in things that spark joy and removing things that don’t.
One of the things that sparks joy for us right now is Cozy Earth’s blankets. Audrey has practically been living in their Bubble Cuddle blanket, and we even got the Cozy Earth baby blanket to prepare for our little one.
If you’re looking to simplify your space and invest in things that truly spark joy, head to cozyearth.com and use the code lovelife for 20% off.
Now, back to the episode.
4. Join Communities That Align With Goals You Already Have
You don’t need to overload your schedule to meet people.
Instead, align social opportunities with goals you already have.
Join a charity event you’ve been meaning to attend. Take a salsa class. Join a public speaking workshop.
Or make a social version of something you already do. If you love photography, join a photography club. If you’re into fitness, try a group class or running club.
The goal isn’t to add more time to your calendar. It’s to use time you’re already investing in yourself—and make it social.
5. Learn to Exchange Details Casually
At some point, when you meet someone, you’ll want to exchange details.
You can say, “It’d be great to stay connected if you’re open to it. What’s the best way to stay in touch?”
You might add, “I can send you that podcast we were talking about.”
If you’re leaving to rejoin friends, you can say, “I’ve got to get back to my friends, but I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. Why don’t we exchange numbers and keep talking sometime?”
Notice what’s powerful about this: you’re the one leaving. You’re not lingering. You’re simply opening the door.
You can also give someone your number, which is lower pressure: “Hey, let me give you my number. If you ever want to continue the conversation, shoot me a text.”
Once you’ve exchanged details, the key is to keep momentum going with messages that build attraction and connection.
And remember: you don’t need the apps to meet someone. You just need movement. You need newness. You need small, brave actions repeated consistently.
Let me know in the comments which of these strategies feels most important for you right now. And thank you, as always, for being part of this.
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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