In this episode of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast, we talk about dating a narcissist and how women who are HSP, empaths and spiritually minded tend to attract them. Susan Ortolano finally clears up why that happens and what you can do about it.
Introducing Susan Ortolano
My guest Susan is an Intuitive Life and Relationship Coach with serious credentials and vast wisdom that she shares generously. Between her masters in spiritual psychology and all the metaphysical tools she uses, she can help you understand what’s going on and how to make better choices.
Narcissistic Men and Relationships
Susan is an expert on dating a narcissist and relationships with this type of man. That’s because she has experience herself, having survived her own marriage and divorce.
This relationship from her past provided her with a deep understanding of how women end up in these gut-wrenching and devastating relationships.
After working through her own healing, she is now happily married to a wonderful man for the last 21 years. Go Susan! Epic, lasting love is completely possible.
Toxic Relationships
Her firsthand knowledge about toxic relationships with a self-centered man provides keen insights for listeners that are incredibly wise and highly insightful.
I was surprised that highly sensitive, spiritually-minded women, who are often empathic too, are naturally attracted to these men. Apparently, they are like powerful magnets. Yes, this type of person characterized by outrageous bravado, is covering up a very fragile ego.
She explains why this is true and how she’s seen this happening with her clients over and over. Don’t blame yourself if this is like your story. The good news is she can teach you how to spot a man like this to avoid dating a narcissist. That’s one of Susan’s specialties!
Signs of a Modern Narcissist
- Most often attractive, charming, intelligent, and maybe even clever.
- Seems ideal – initially few flaws show as you are dazzled, until you realize that not listening, controlling behavior, and only talking about what interests him are huge deficiencies.
- Changes the subject or doesn’t answer uncomfortable, personal questions that reflect poorly on him because they hate confrontation.
- May order for you in a restaurant, but rarely asks what you would prefer.
- Can’t accept any constructive criticism or look within to see where they are at cause in a situation.
- Has no ability for empathy or putting himself in anyone else’s shoes, so chances are he can’t understand where you are coming from. If it’s about you, then it’s not about him.
- Will never apologize or say he’s sorry or at fault, in any sort of genuine, heart-felt way.
- Sees you merely as a reflection of himself – what he wants, needs or thinks. If you go along with everything and have no needs of your own, you’ll be fine – LOL.
More details on spotting a narcissist (who could be male or female)
Dating Is Not Being in a Relationship
We also talked quite a bit about how dating is not the same as being in a relationship. Yet, many women after just a few dates, focus on a man they barely know due to chemistry and other reasons. Chemistry can lead you astray because it is not an indication of compatibility beyond attraction.
However, if you start to think of dating as a sorting process to find the man who has the most potential as a long-term mate, your chances of creating a lasting relationship improve greatly.
This is why it’s smart to extend the dating process and meet lots of men, before you launch into a relationship and commitment to anyone. Then dating a narcissist will not be a concern. The men you date will have more of a chance to show their true colors.
Dating Affects Your Chakras
Ortolano also works with your chakra system, to clear any blocks or sluggish energy. You want to be sure you are well aligned and that everything is working well for greater balance. She mentioned how her first marriage affected her own chakras.
Plus, there’s some discussion about learning how to use your intuition when meeting new men. I revealed one of my attempts years ago to do this on a date and why I failed miserably!
Get Susan’s Free Gift –
This is an incredibly useful assessment that helps you see where you might be getting stuck and what you can do differently, so don’t hesitate to download your copy right now!
I’m excited about this episode which was a lot of fun. Susan and I connected on dating topics and life experience, sharing some laughs and ultimately our expert relationship wisdom. Enjoy!
BIO
Susan Ortolano Is an Intuitive Life & Relationship Coach who specializes in working with soul-centered, spiritually minded & empathic women to attract, find, & keep epic, conscious love. She also specializes in working with couples looking for a deeper more connected more sacred partnership.
Known for using metaphysical practices with other specialty techniques, Susan earned her master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology, is a triple Certified Life & Relationship Coach who has been teaching clients across 5 continents how to attract & thrive in their epic, conscious, dream relationship since 2006.
Susan believes that relationships and marriages are the best path to personal growth & healing and can be easy when people have the right skillset, level of conscious awareness of themselves and their partner. She has been featured on numerous online shows, podcasts, radio shows, even hosting her own.
After being in a toxic, painful first marriage that ended in divorce, Susan celebrates being blissfully married to her own amazing, conscious husband, Rick since 2001.
Susan also offers intuitive readings! Learn more about her at SusanOrtolano.com
Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony, MSN.com, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.