The Path Through Partner Betrayal Trauma
Healing from betrayal isn’t linear. It’s messy, with moments of progress and grief intertwined. But what the Raabsmiths discovered — and what I see often in my work as a marriage counselor — is that this rupture, painful as it is, can become the beginning of something deeper.
When both partners commit to the process, the relationship that emerges is more authentic, conscious, and emotionally connected. Real trust isn’t about pretending it never happened; it’s about creating something new, built on truth and emotional courage.
You can read more about this concept in Betrayal Trauma in Committed Relationships: An Exploratory Study, which explores how couples rebuild emotional safety and mutual trust after infidelity or secrecy.
If your emotional connection feels distant, you may relate to I love you but I don’t like you, an article on rediscovering closeness after disconnection.
How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal
If you’re asking how to rebuild trust after betrayal, start small and consistent. Transparency replaces secrecy. Honesty replaces avoidance. Repair replaces defensiveness. These daily choices rebuild emotional safety, not just between you and your partner but within your own nervous system.
Learn to have repair conversations that bring you closer, not further apart. This article on how to make up after a fight offers simple steps to start communicating differently.
Reflect With Me
If you’re navigating partner betrayal trauma — or supporting someone who is — pause and reflect:
- What would it take for you to feel emotionally safe again?
- What does accountability look like in your relationship?
- If you could rebuild trust from the ground up, what kind of love would you create this time?
These questions are the starting point for healing, not just surviving.
Keep Growing
If this conversation stirred something in you, I have a free resource that can help you start rebuilding safety and connection right now. My Communication That Connects Masterclass walks you through the exact skills that transform conflict into closeness — the same communication tools that make repair and trust-building possible after betrayal.
If you’d like to work with one of the amazing marriage and family therapists on my team, you’re invited to schedule a free consultation to talk about your situation and how we can help you rebuild trust, safety, and connection in your relationship.
xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Resources:
Williams, L. R. (2019). The experience of sexual betrayal trauma: A qualitative analysis of responses from the Trauma Inventory for Partners of Sex Addicts (TIPSA) [Master’s thesis, Brigham Young University]. ScholarsArchive. https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/etd/8557
Giacobbi, L., & Lalot, F. (2025). Unpacking trust repair in couples: A systematic literature review. Journal of Family Therapy, 47(1), 45–68. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12483
Aghamiri, A., Luetz, J. M., & Hills, S. (2024). The lived experiences and well-being of female partners following discovery or disclosure of their male partner’s compulsive sexual behaviours: An Australian phenomenological study. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 31(2), 145–164. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-024-01043-x
