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Put It Into Practice
1. Identify Their “Attachment Blueprint”: By understanding your client’s attachment style, you can get a sense of their default approach to relationships. Are they naturally drawn toward independence? Or do they seek constant reassurance?
2. Embrace Personality Patterns: Dr. Siegel, along with other notable researchers, emphasizes moving away from rigid personality “types.” Instead, think in terms of “patterns”—fluid, adaptive responses shaped by attachment, temperament, and life experiences.
For instance, if a client has a “harmonizing” pattern, they might struggle to voice their needs for fear of conflict. Knowing this, we can validate their concerns while encouraging growth in self-assertion.
3. Incorporate Neuroscience-Based Techniques: Dr. Siegel’s work in interpersonal neurobiology underscores how attachment experiences actually shape the brain. Techniques like mindfulness and self-reflection aren’t just add-ons; they can help clients rewire their attachment responses by integrating new, secure connections in the therapeutic relationship.
4. Use Attachment and Temperament as a Foundation for Therapy Goals: Create goals that respect their attachment and personality style. A client with avoidant tendencies might benefit from gradual trust-building exercises, while someone with a more ambivalent style may need techniques that promote self-soothing and independence.
Don’t Miss Out on More In-Depth Insights!
If you’re hungry for more strategies to bring attachment style therapy into your practice, I invite you to pre-order Dr. Siegel’s upcoming book, Personality and Wholeness in Therapy, which delves into these approaches in detail. You’ll find insights on how attachment styles interplay with our personalities and how to work with these dynamics in your sessions. He also offers an entire series of courses through the Mindsight Institute, which can further deepen your understanding.
And let’s connect on LinkedIn! I’d love to keep the conversation going. Find me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/drlisabobby/, where we can share ideas and continue learning from one another.
Xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. Know a fellow therapist who could use these insights? Please share this article with them. Together, we can expand our knowledge and bring even more transformative power to our therapy practices.
Resources:
Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology). WW Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2013). Therapeutic presence. Healing moments in psychotherapy. New York, NY: WW Norton & Company, 243-69.
Siegel, D. J. (2006). An interpersonal neurobiology approach to psychotherapy. Psychiatric Annals, 36(4), 248.
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