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A lot of people believe that great dating profiles attract tons of attention, but that’s just not the case. In reality, a truly great profile will scare away over 95% of the people who look at it. This is a big shift in thinking for a lot of online daters, but it can mean the difference between finding love and quitting in frustration.
People are weird, quirky, and particular creatures. That isn’t a bad thing. It is what makes us human and what makes us unique. However, one of the challenges of being unique is that we don’t all fit together easily. In fact, most people are not compatible with each other. If compatibility was simple, there wouldn’t be over 60 million people on Match or over 90 million people on Tinder.
How a Dating Profile Might Scare People Away
The unfortunate thing is that insecurity pushes people to believe that their best chance of meeting someone online is to make their dating profile attractive to as many people as possible. Sure, it is definitely one path you could take, but think about the downsides of that working!
The only thing worse than not connecting with anyone on a dating app is connecting with all the wrong people. I would rather my clients go on one great date that has the potential to turn into a relationship every two months, than on 20 first dates every month that lead nowhere. I’m not saying that you should try to make your profile less attractive, I’m actually saying the opposite… but it should only be attractive to the people you want to meet.
Dating Profiles Scaring People Away to Get Good Results
Let’s take Akari for example. She’s actually the inspiration for this blog post. Akari is a client I was just helping write a profile. During our consultation, she started telling me about how she likes to try new foods. The more we talked about it, she started also telling me about how annoying it is to date people who always go to the same restaurant and order the exact same dish for years without ever changing it up. That’s the exact kind of person we want to scare away with her profile.
When her profile goes live, it will feature a line about how she loves going to a restaurant where she’s never eaten and ordering her server’s favorite dish off the menu. For adventurous eaters, or even anyone with an adventurous spirit, that is a line that could be very attractive to read in someone’s profile. But, to the people who think fajitas at Chili’s is an adventurous meal, the idea of leaving your dinner up to that kind of chance is the last thing they want to do.
Key to Dating Success with Online Profiles
The key to success with online dating isn’t to make yourself attractive to everyone. It is to make yourself attractive only to the people you are compatible with. You deserve to be with someone who fits you. If you approach online dating with the goal of “just finding someone so that you won’t be alone.” you may find someone, but there is a good chance that you’ll feel even more lonely in that relationship than you did when you were single.
If you are struggling to find your voice and need help writing a dating profile that can help attract the most compatible matches and repel the dates that are destined for failure, give me a call at 888-447-7634 or send me a message here.
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