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“I love when you are being not so funny,” she texted me after I spontaneously made a dad joke.
I can’t help but make bad puns whenever the opportunity presents itself. In English, they’re called dad jokes. In other languages, the same kinds of puns have similar translations such as “old man joke.”
It seems as though making bad puns as men get older is a universal experience. Must be in our DNA or something.
I wasn’t sure of what to make of this text. This is a relatively new romance, and she always laughs whenever I joke around.
At first I was like “WTF? Why would she insult me like this, especially this soon after we had sex for the first time?”
I then realized the implications of her saying this after we already slept together.
This wasn’t an insult. It was affectionate playfulness.
I initially thought it was messed up because she always laughed when I made my dumb jokes. Was she being insincere at those times, and is finally coming clean about how she thinks I’m not actually funny?
No, she was actually expressing endearment in her own weird way.
“What do you mean?” I asked. She said my jokes are usually not funny and just laughed, along with a couple cute emoticons. Conversation and affectionate flirting carried on as usual afterward.
She was just being bratty and clearly still felt tickled by my apparently lackluster humor.
This experience reminded me of a fundamental concept in dating: she will still feel enjoyment and laugh at your bad jokes if she’s attracted to you.
As a men’s dating coach, I’ve always said that humor isn’t as important as most people seem to think. It’s definitely a plus, but it’s not a fundamental pillar of attraction.
And sometimes, being too funny can be a disadvantage.
A lot of people think that a big part of being fun is also about being funny or humorous. After all, Marilyn Monroe herself said, “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.” However, I propose that humor is not really all that important when it comes to being perceived as a fun guy, becoming popular, and becoming a proficient seducer. Sure, it can be a very powerful tool in those areas, but humor is not inherently part of the equation. Oftentimes, being funny can even work against you if you’re funny in the wrong way.
Being funny in the wrong way is when your humor outweighs other important factors such as confidence and leadership. If you’re a funny guy but still unconfident and submissive, you turn into a dancing monkey whose only value is to entertain others. On the other hand, if you already possess confidence and strong leadership habits, humor only serves to highlight those positive traits.
— Excerpt from Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women
Other factors are far more important in attracting women: traits and behaviors I have discussed on this blog ad nauseam.
Strategically speaking, it’ll be easier to tell if a woman is attracted to you if you aren’t actually all that funny, because it’ll be easier to notice when she laughs at your terrible jokes.
So, don’t worry too much about your comedic skills.
And watch out for those bratty girls. Brattiness is especially prevalent in the US. Don’t take sh*t personally!
Has someone ever told you something potentially offensive, but it turned out to be flirting? Tell me your experiences in the comments!
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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The post Do Men Need to Be Funny to Be Attractive? appeared first on The Good Men Project.
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