If your ex hasn’t deleted your pictures on social media even though it’s been a while since your ex dumped you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex still loves you and wants to get back with you. It probably means that your ex doesn’t resent you or that your ex doesn’t want to make it look like he or she does.
Your ex might think that impulsively deleting your pictures could hurt you and that others could find out about the breakup and the pain he or she has caused you.
Dumpers delay or refrain from deleting their ex’s pictures on social media for different reasons.
They usually don’t delete them for a while because it takes them time to go through all of them, because they don’t want to look and feel bad for deleting them, because they don’t want to receive a negative reaction from their ex or their (ex’s) family, because they don’t mind keeping them, or because they want to wait a while for things to cool off before they delete them.
Most dumpers do, however, eventually delete their ex’s pictures on social media as doing so allows them to stop worrying about what their ex and others will think and makes it morally okay for them to start worrying about themselves.
Deleting the pictures with their ex helps them stop seeing their ex on their profile (avoids bringing back unwanted memories and emotions) and also lets them add and connect with other dating prospects.
They don’t want to add someone they like and scare that person off the moment he or she sees pictures with an ex.
So even though you may still have feelings for an ex and want to hear your ex say that he or she still wants to be with you, know that the pictures don’t bother your ex or bother your ex enough to delete your pictures right away.
Your ex will probably delete the pictures later when your ex starts dating, when your ex gets serious with someone else, or when he or she thinks it’s safe for all parties involved to move on.
You must do your best to keep your hopes low as doing so will prevent you from feeling disappointed and hurt if your ex eventually deletes your pictures on social media and posts pictures with someone else. To avoid unnecessary pain, unfollow your ex’s account and stop checking your ex’s social media.
No dumpee has ever found anything useful on the dumper’s social media page. Most dumpees just found things they weren’t supposed to find and suffered immensely as a result.
In today’s article, we talk about why your ex hasn’t deleted your pictures on social media. We explain why dumpees and dumpers keep their ex’s pictures online and what you can do about it.
My ex hasn’t deleted our pictures on social media
If your ex left you but hasn’t deleted your pictures on social media, your ex probably doesn’t feel the urge to delete them. Your ex has at least some respect for you and is okay with keeping your pictures for now.
Keeping your pictures doesn’t hurt or annoy your ex, which is why your ex decided to leave things as they were. Leaving your photos online prevented you and your ex from getting into conflict and gave your ex peace of mind.
Typically, dumpers who delete pictures right after the breakup feel a lot of resentment toward their ex. They despise their ex and/or don’t want to waste any more time thinking about their ex. To defend themselves against unwanted thoughts and emotions, they delete, block, or unfollow their ex and push their ex out of their life.
They do whatever it takes not to talk to their ex, invest in their ex, and be reminded of their ex. They just want to focus on themselves and those who matter to them. If their ex reaches out to them and puts them in an uncomfortable situation, they usually respond impulsively and hurt their ex.
Such dumpers don’t want any reminders of their ex. They don’t want their ex’s gifts, letters, pictures, and seeing their ex’s online status. They’re so done with the relationship and their ex that they get rid of everything that reminds them of their ex and the difficult past or uncomfortable present.
Your ex probably doesn’t hate you (which would have been your ex’s problem) otherwise your ex would have deleted you from existence. But your ex did leave you, which means your ex can’t be around you anymore.
Your ex especially can’t talk about relationship and breakup matters as it would make your ex feel guilty, angry, and/or uncomfortable.
Your ex would rather think positive thoughts and feel positive emotions by keeping his or her mind off you.
So if you found out your ex hasn’t deleted your pictures on social media and you’re thinking there might be a deeper meaning behind your ex’s inactions, know that there isn’t. Your ex is just okay with (temporarily) keeping your pictures.
Maybe your ex is doing that because he or she feels bad for leaving and hurting you and doesn’t want to hurt you more. Or maybe your ex doesn’t want to ruin his or her reputation to family and friends and thinks that not deleting your pictures will accomplish that.
Not all dumpers deal with breakups the same way. Some dumpers delete their ex’s pictures right away, some delete them days after the breakup, some months later, and some never do. It depends on their perception of their ex, morals, personality, understanding of the breakup, and their own post-breakup rules.
If they think they must wipe their ex from existence and pretend like they never dated their ex, they often delete their ex very quickly. They don’t need to wait because waiting keeps them stuck in the past and prevents them from living life on their terms.
So keep in mind that your ex hasn’t deleted your pictures on social media because your ex didn’t feel that your pictures prevented him or her from moving on and enjoying the post-breakup life. Your ex must feel free and respected enough to be able to prioritize his or her well-being.
That doesn’t change much for you if you’re trying to get back with your ex. It just means that your ex doesn’t resent you or feel so irritated that your ex must quickly eradicate all proof of dating you.
That being said, here’s why your ex hasn’t deleted your pictures on social media.
Why my dumpee ex hasn’t deleted our pictures on social media?
You probably already know that dumpees keep their ex’s pictures on social media because they feel brokenhearted and want another chance with their ex. They want their ex to notice their worth and come back so they can continue from where they left off.
Pictures with their ex give them hope and ease their overwhelming separation anxiety. That’s why they occasionally look at the pictures and prevent themselves from breaking down emotionally.
Dumpees don’t want to permanently delete their ex’s pictures because they value their ex and all the memories they share with him or her. They want to hold on to the pictures as they make them feel nostalgic and give them the strength to keep pushing on.
Of course, hope also keeps them attached and prevents them from letting go of their ex, but as long as they just look at pictures and not contact their ex, they can avoid bothering their ex and getting hurt in return.
Therefore, dumpees don’t delete pictures of their ex on social media to:
- stay hopeful and keep their anxiety under control
- cherish the memories
- continue from where they left off if the dumper returns
- show the pictures to their kids, friends, or family
Dumpees are usually the ones who keep their ex’s photos on social media. They don’t want to delete them because that would mean they’ve given up on their ex and found better things or people to focus on.
They’d rather show their ex they’re not angry with and that they’re in no hurry to delete them.
So if your ex is a dumpee and you’re wondering why your ex hasn’t deleted pictures you took together, it’s because your ex isn’t ready to delete them yet. Your ex is still working on accepting the breakup and recovering from post-breakup blues.
Give your ex more time and your ex will delete the pictures when he or she is ready to delete them.
This will be when your ex:
- accepts the breakup
- gets tired of waiting for you
- sees things rationally and realizes it wasn’t meant to be
- moves on
- finds someone new
My ex still has me as his profile picture
An ex who has you as his profile picture weeks after the breakup also doesn’t feel the need to remove his picture right away. He feels comfortable with the way things are and doesn’t want to make any sudden changes.
If he’s active on social media, he’ll probably change his picture eventually. And when he does, you’ll see that analyzing his social media decisions didn’t improve your life in any way.
So don’t assume your ex has you as his profile picture because your ex is trying to send you a secret message. If your ex wanted you back, your ex would have told you so directly. He wouldn’t communicate with you indirectly in such a vague manner.
Always remember that your ex isn’t keeping you as his profile picture to keep you as a backup plan but because it doesn’t bother him or because removing it could hurt you and then him.
Whatever the case may be, he currently thinks it’s better to keep you as his profile picture. This might change when he stops feeling guilty or when he meets someone else. If you keep checking up on him, you’ll probably one day see that he’s removed his profile picture of you and changed it to something or someone else.
Hopefully, you’ll feel less anxious and obsessed by then and won’t care what your ex does or doesn’t do anymore.
Should I ask my ex to delete our pictures on social media?
If your ex is a dumpee, you probably shouldn’t ask your ex to delete your pictures. You should be more understanding of the situation your ex is in and sympathize with your ex instead.
If you’re on talking terms, give your ex closure and keep your distance. You don’t want to confuse your ex and string your ex along.
And if you’re not talking, stay away from your ex and let your ex do what he or she wants. Your ex will probably remove your pictures when the time is right.
On the other hand, if your ex left you, then it may be best to handle this situation in a way that minimizes the risk of looking weak or demanding. Although it might be okay to tell your ex that pictures of you hurt you, you’ll probably look more attractive if you don’t.
I suggest you unfollow your ex or stop using social media for a while. You need to block out unnecessary information and stop overanalyzing every single detail in your ex’s life.
Your ex will respect you more if he or she doesn’t know how you feel and doesn’t see that you’re obsessing over some pictures.
So give it some thought before you decide to tell your ex to delete your pictures. Make sure you’re aware of the consequences and that you’re okay with them.
Does your ex still have your pictures on social media? What kind of pictures does your ex have? Share your story in the comments below.
And if you’d like to talk to us about why your ex hasn’t deleted your pictures yet, click here to see our coaching options.
