My Experience With Men Who Talk Too Much

I recently went on a date with a guy.

On paper, he seemed promising; he was nice, elegant, and good-looking. We’d met through a dating app, and after some text exchanges, he asked me out to dinner. I agreed.

He suggested having drinks before. At first, it was still relatively okay.

But as the night went on, something became painfully clear: he didn’t listen. He just…talked. About himself. Non-stop.

At one point, I simply told him. I couldn’t take it anymore. Smilingly, I said he talked a lot. I even made light jokes about it, not to judge him, but because…

1. I’d like to express myself honestly.
2. I was hoping he’d understand that this was a mutual exchange, not a TED talk.

It’s impossible for me to connect with someone who won’t pause, who continues to talk about himself and his experiences, who doesn’t ask questions or let me finish my story (or even my sentence).

More than that, it’s draining as hell. I left the dinner exhausted.

What made it even trickier was that there were certain aspects about him I genuinely liked. But the fact that every sentence I managed to get in got turned into another story about his own experience made me realize there was no way this could go anywhere.

Round Two: Even Worse

Not long after, I went on another date with someone else. This time was worse.

This guy not only monopolized the conversation, but when I did speak, he would talk over me mid-sentence. I’m not sure he even heard me. At a certain point, he went on and on about his experiences with dating apps and why he didn’t like them.

At one point, I interrupted:

“My experience with dating apps is horrible too, because I keep ending up with guys who just talk about themselves, like now. I wonder what I’m even doing here if you have zero interest in getting to know me?”

Normally, I wouldn’t be that blunt, but I was completely fed up.

Sadly, he just couldn’t help himself. When I pointed it out, he did apologize and said he was happy with the feedback.

But then, and you can’t make this up, he just went on and on about how well he takes feedback, how other men wouldn’t, how this made him different, how good of a person he is, etc.

Yes. Still only talking about himself. A lot.

The Dating Fatigue Aftermath

After these latest two back-to-back experiences, I’ve hit a wall. I’m done. I have dating fatigue.

I’m honestly scared to get trapped again with someone who simply can’t listen. It’s not just disappointing, it’s demoralizing.

It’s astonishing to me because listening is the basis of building connection. When someone is not interested in what you have to say, or who you really are, how do you even build any kind of real connection?

Unfortunately, this isn’t rare. Some people talk excessively because they’re nervous, which is a different story. Others genuinely lack self-awareness or social reciprocity.

But many simply don’t seem to be interested in knowing who you really are. It seems like they’re looking for an audience, not a partner.

As for me, I’m done entertaining monologues disguised as dates. If someone can’t share the conversational stage, I’m not sticking around.

It’s not about an unwillingness to listen or give them space to share their stories; it’s about mutual curiosity and respect.

To anyone else who’s been in the same boat: you’re not asking a lot for wanting to be heard (too). This is, or at least should be, connection 101.

And should you be that serial talker who can’t seem to stop:

Just learn to, sometimes, SHUT THE F* UP.