Divorce is one of the most emotionally disruptive experiences a person can go through. Even under the best circumstances, it shakes your sense of safety, identity, and future. Now imagine navigating divorce in a country that is not your own. A place where the language may not be your first, the laws are unfamiliar, the culture feels foreign, and your family and lifelong support system are thousands of miles away.
This is the reality for many people I work with as an international divorce coach and as a divorce attorney practicing in Israel. These are expats, immigrants, and globally mobile families whose lives span multiple countries, cultures, and legal systems. When divorce enters the picture, the complexity increases exponentially.
Why International Divorce Feels So Overwhelming
Divorce alone is destabilizing. Add international elements, and the sense of being ungrounded can become overwhelming.
Many of my clients are living in a country where they are not citizens or permanent residents. Some rely on their spouse for legal status, such as a visa or residency permit. Others are married to someone from a different religion or cultural background, which can significantly impact expectations around parenting, finances, and family roles.
Language barriers, unfamiliar legal systems, and cultural differences often leave people feeling vulnerable and afraid. Even highly capable, independent individuals can suddenly feel powerless when they do not know their rights or what the future may hold.
And then there are children.
Children, Relocation, and Parenting Across Borders
When international couples divorce, custody and parenting plans are almost always the most emotionally charged issue. Property can be divided. Children cannot.
Questions quickly arise. Where will the children live? Can one parent relocate to their country of origin? What happens if one parent wants to stay and the other wants to leave? How will holidays, school breaks, and travel be handled when parents live in different countries or even on different continents?
In some cultures, such as Israel, it is common for divorced parents to live very close to one another and share parenting time equally. In other countries, long distances between parents are more common and more accepted. These cultural differences matter deeply when creating parenting plans that are realistic, enforceable, and emotionally healthy for children.
One of the most important parts of my work is helping parents slow down, regulate their emotions, and think not only about what feels urgent right now, but also about what will serve their children three, five, or ten years down the road.
The Role of an International Divorce Coach
When I work as a coach, I am not acting as a lawyer unless the client is divorcing in Israel. Coaching is different.
I do not tell clients what to do. I do not speak to their attorneys or their ex-spouses on their behalf. Instead, I act as a sounding board, a stabilizing presence, and a strategic thinking partner.
Together, we work on emotional grounding, decision-making, and preparation. I help clients clarify their priorities, understand their options, and show up to conversations with lawyers, mediators, and co-parents in a calmer, more intentional way.
Sometimes that work is about big-picture decisions like relocation or long-term financial planning. Other times, it is about something as small but meaningful as how to respond to a triggering text message from an ex.
When you are in the middle of a divorce, it is very hard to see past the storm. Coaching creates space to breathe, reflect, and make choices aligned with your long-term wellbeing.
Financial Issues and Jurisdiction
Finances in international divorces are often tied closely to geography. Assets may be spread across multiple countries, and the choice of legal jurisdiction can significantly affect outcomes.
Interestingly, for many expats, the marital home carries less emotional weight than it often does in domestic divorces. When people have relocated recently or lived in multiple countries, the home may feel more temporary. This can sometimes make negotiations easier and allow for creative solutions that prioritize stability for children or flexibility for parents.
Everything in divorce negotiation can become a bargaining tool. The key is understanding what truly matters to each person emotionally, not just financially. When emotional needs are acknowledged and addressed, agreements are more likely to feel livable and sustainable.
Jewish Law and Divorce
For Jewish couples, international divorce can also involve religious law. Jewish divorce requires a religious divorce document known as a get. This requirement applies regardless of where in the world the couple lives.
Even if a couple is civilly divorced in another country, without a get they are still considered married under Jewish law. This has serious implications, particularly for women, including restrictions around remarriage and future children.
Rabbinical courts exist worldwide, but the Rabbinical Court in Israel holds unique authority. Understanding how religious and civil systems interact is critical for Jewish couples navigating divorce across borders.
Who I Work With
Most of my clients are Israeli expats or individuals married to Israelis, often living outside Israel. Frequently, the person who reaches out feels less powerful in the divorce, whether due to immigration status, financial uncertainty, or simply being caught off guard by the separation.
Many clients tell me that one of the most comforting aspects of our work together is speaking in their mother tongue and feeling culturally understood. When you are already vulnerable, being seen and understood at that level can be profoundly grounding.
You Do Not Have to Navigate This Alone
Divorce across borders is complex, but it is not impossible. With the right support, thoughtful planning, and a focus on both emotional and practical realities, it is possible to create outcomes that allow you and your children to move forward with clarity and stability.
Being a foreigner in the middle of a divorce is hard. You deserve guidance that understands not just the law, but the emotional and cultural layers that come with living between worlds.
