Relationships and ADHD
Navigating relationships when you or your partner has ADHD can feel like a rollercoaster. Before I was diagnosed, my husband (who is naturally organized and timely) often interpreted my forgetfulness and poor follow-through as a lack of care. And honestly, I felt terrible about it! It wasn’t that I didn’t love or value him; it’s just that my brain wasn’t wired to keep track of details the same way his was.
After my diagnosis, things changed. Understanding the “why” behind my behaviors helped both of us reframe our challenges. Instead of seeing my forgetfulness as laziness or indifference, we started viewing it as a logistical hurdle we could tackle together. We implemented shared calendars, gentle reminders, and—most importantly—a lot more grace for each other.
If you’re the partner of someone with ADHD, know this: they’re not trying to frustrate or disappoint you. It’s just that their brain works differently. And if you’re the one with ADHD, remember that your partner’s feelings are valid, too. Open communication, mutual understanding, and the willingness to adapt are game-changers.
For couples navigating adult ADHD dynamics, therapy can be a fantastic tool. It can help both partners understand each other’s perspectives and build systems that work for their unique relationship.
ADHD Superpowers, Anyone?
Yes, ADHD has its challenges, but let’s talk about the fun side of it. People with ADHD are often incredibly creative, curious, and spontaneous. We see the world in ways others might not. That “hobby-hopping” tendency? It’s a sign of a rich inner life and an endless appetite for learning. Our ability to hyperfocus means that when we’re passionate about something, we can achieve incredible things.
Personally, I’ve found that my ADHD makes me a better therapist and coach. I’m naturally empathetic, intuitive, and great at thinking outside the box. Jesse mentioned something similar—how his energy and ability to juggle multiple ideas at once make him effective in his work.
The key is learning to channel these superpowers effectively. When we embrace our strengths and develop strategies to manage the challenges, ADHD stops being a burden and starts becoming a unique advantage.
Ready to Thrive with Adult ADHD?
Living with ADHD can feel like a whirlwind—your creativity and energy can light up a room, but staying organized or focused might sometimes feel like an uphill battle. And let’s be real: when ADHD gets in the way of meeting expectations (yours or others’), it can take a toll on your self-esteem.
The good news? Self-esteem isn’t a fixed trait—it’s something you can strengthen with the right insights and support. Take my How Healthy is Your Self-Esteem? quiz to discover where you’re thriving and where you could use a little extra love and support. It’s quick, eye-opening, and might just be the first step toward embracing the amazing person you are, ADHD and all.
If you’re feeling like you could use more personalized support, we’re here for you at Growing Self. Our therapists and coaches can support you through the tough moments and help you (and your loved ones!) create systems that work for you. Book a free consultation call today to get started on your journey to a calmer, more empowered life.
And don’t forget to stay connected with me on social media! I’m always sharing tips, insights, and inspiration on Instagram and YouTube. I also host regular live streams on both platforms where we can dive deeper into topics like ADHD, relationships, and personal growth. Follow me so we can connect!
Until next time, keep growing, loving, and thriving.
Warmly,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
PS: Know someone who could use this advice? Share this article with them! You never know—a little understanding might just change someone’s life for the better.
Resources:
Archer, T., & Kostrzewa, R. M. (2012). Physical exercise alleviates ADHD symptoms: regional deficits and development trajectory. Neurotoxicity research, 21(2), 195-209. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12640-011-9260-0?inline-read-more
Zalsman, G., & Shilton, T. (2016). Adult ADHD: A new disease?. International journal of psychiatry in clinical practice, 20(2), 70-76. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3109/13651501.2016.1149197
Wymbs, B. T., Canu, W. H., Sacchetti, G. M., & Ranson, L. M. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and what we can do to help. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 47(3), 664-681. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jmft.12475