What does it mean to be a metrosexual man and what makes him so different? We define metrosexuality and list the benefits of being with this kind of guy!
Before we continue, forget everything you know about metrosexuality. Back in the 2000s, metrosexual was one of the biggest insults you could direct to straight men who cared about how they looked. But there really is nothing there to insult!
Ryan Seacrest. Brad Pitt. David Beckham. Need we say more?
Handsome, good-looking, and impeccably well-groomed men who aren’t ashamed to admit they get their facials and pedicures, love shopping, and in David’s case, likes to wear his wife’s underwear.
These guys and other heterosexual equals who embrace their inner femininity made headlines circa 2004, with magazine covers, in-depth articles, and even scholarly research papers written entirely on the new phenomenon taking over the world, metrosexuality.
What is metrosexuality?
The term metrosexual was coined at the turn of the century. In simple terms, a metrosexual man is someone who favors self-care, specifically their grooming and style choices. [Read: Effeminate men – what it means, the types & 25 ways they break traditional masculinity]
They can best be described as single, well-educated, urban-dwelling men who are well in touch with their sensitive side and pride themselves on being more cultured than their Y-chromosome brethren.
However, the most distinctive quality of metrosexuals—as per public perception—is their predisposition toward vanity. A vanity that is often seen in their tasteful clothing choices and hours spent making themselves look good.
A brief history of metrosexuality
Before David Beckham and his sarong, men had only one ideal to live up to: the macho kind. Think sports, guns, beer, and meat. They were hypermasculine, so they didn’t shop and they definitely didn’t do things deemed as “womanly.”
But by the early nineties, this raw, ungroomed masculinity was being rejected by popular culture and capitalism. [Read: Turn offs for women – 25 things guys do that girls absolutely hate]
The macho man wasn’t a good enough target audience for advertisers as he made his money for his wife to spend. The market needed a kind of man who spent more time on his looks and image and less on his identity. Witness the birth of the metrosexual.
The first appearance of the term “metrosexual” was mentioned by Mark Simpson in a UK national paper, “The Independent,” in 1994.
He cites the reason for the term as the proximity of these well-groomed young men to the big cities, possibly due to the more tolerant culture of big cities, as well as the large number of hair salons, spas, and clubs. *Hence, “metro” and “heterosexual” together being “metrosexual”*. [Read: 64 best places to meet men & ways to find your perfect attractive, eligible guy]
But the current thought that metrosexuality is a recent trend is completely untrue. British and French nobility of the 15th and 16th centuries paid great attention to what they wore and how they accessorized it.
Men were expected to spend as much time on their appearance as women. Only with the World Wars and the decline in monarchies did this change, leading to the counterculture of the 20th century.
So, who is a metrosexual?
Nope, he’s not a Calvin Klein model, though people would most likely mistake him for one. You bet he knows that too because he walks the streets with a swagger as if he came out of an Esquire centerfold. [Read: How to be a bad boy – wild *and legal* bad boy traits women love]
Sporting bright, exfoliated skin, meticulously groomed stubble, immaculate teeth, and hair that is indestructible even by atmospheric re-entry like Brandon Routh’s in Superman Returns. He likes a Siberian cucumber facial as much as the next and will recommend his favorite deep sea body scrub to you.
He is the one who spends hours in the gym and has gallons of gel on his hair. You can find him at the hippest of clubs, wearing the trendiest clothes. He has the money to spend and knows what to spend it on.
A metrosexual man is unapologetically himself. He defies the standards put on him in society and invests his attention on his appearance instead. A metrosexual man is usually straight but can also be any other sexuality. But that doesn’t matter because the biggest love of his life is himself.
Is metrosexual a part of the LGBT community?
Metrosexuality isn’t a sexual preference. Rather, it is a lifestyle and a way to describe a man’s behaviors and traits. This means that a metrosexual man can be straight, gay, bisexual, or identify with any other sexuality. [Read: Am I gay? Signs & secrets you’re not straight & into the same gender]
However, the term most commonly describes straight men. This is because the metrosexual lifestyle contrasts with society’s expectations of heterosexual men.
Society doesn’t expect straight men to upkeep their appearance or have excessive grooming habits. After all, this is why the term came into existence.
It’s important to mention that just because a man is gay does not mean he is metrosexual. It is a common misconception that the traits of a metrosexual man are “gay.”
But how someone practices self-care or puts effort into their appearance doesn’t make them gay or straight. This belief is outdated and rooted in homophobia and toxic masculinity, so let’s do away with it. [Read: Fragile masculinity? 70 things men do that doesn’t make you “gay”]
Is it okay for a straight man to be metrosexual?
If you’re wondering if it’s okay for a straight man to be metrosexual, the answer is of course it’s okay! As we stated before, there is nothing about metrosexuality tied to sexual preference.
Metrosexuality as a lifestyle is about men ditching masculine expectations that society has put on them over the decades. You don’t have to abide by a certain way of dressing or upkeep to be “a man.”
In fact, the dating pool is even larger for straight metrosexual men. Women are naturally drawn to men who take care of themselves and the things around them. It shows that you take pride in what you own and how you look. Bonus points if he’s in touch with his emotions!
[Read: What girls find attractive – 49 traits that make a guy irresistible to women]
Benefits of being with a metrosexual guy
If you’re someone who is considering dating a metrosexual guy or you are questioning whether or not your current partner is, these are the signs and benefits of being with a metrosexual man!
1. He keeps a healthy lifestyle
Metrosexuals are not the type to sit on the couch all day, guzzling beer and chomping on leftover pizza. Keeping a healthy body is essential to his good looks, after all.
So when you’re with a metrosexual guy, expect a considerable amount of greens in the fridge and some gym time in his schedule. He could even influence you to do the same and develop a healthier lifestyle. [Read: 26 secrets to get motivated to workout & exercise your way to a better life]
2. You won’t need to worry about him being underdressed
Metrosexuality may come hand-in-hand with some slight vanity, but it also comes with an abundance of style and taste. Expect him to look his best at any time, any day of the year. Dressing appropriately is one of the metrosexual man’s best assets, as they know when to tune down to casual or go full blast with their secret gala night threads.
3. Your bathroom shelf space gets smaller
A traditionally masculine guy might only have his deodorant, shaving cream, and aftershave occupying his tiny portion of the bathroom counter—meaning you get to hog the rest of the space with all your beauty products.
Living with a metrosexual man, however, is like reliving the scenes of your college dorm bathroom. Keeping his good looks requires a lot more than just shaving cream and, as a result, your bathroom will look like it’s being shared by two women. [Read: Are you ready to move in together? The complete 16-point checklist]
4. Your shared closet will be just that
Metrosexual men are known for being stylish and are likely to have double the number of clothes in their wardrobes than your typical fashion-oblivious dude. We’re not talking about thrift store flannel shirts, here.
These guys are very particular in choosing clothes, so we’re talking about suits, silk ties, cravats, cufflinks, shoes—the whole shebang.
5. You can add overnight spa and massages to your date activities
Now, wouldn’t that be wonderful? While a hardcore straight guy wouldn’t even dare step foot in the beauty salon, the metrosexual guy would go so far as to lead you by the hand, as you spend your day blissfully romanticizing while the two of you get pedicures.
After all, metrosexuality is all about taking care of yourself. Your boyfriend will probably be just as excited for an ultimate pampering spa-date as you! [Read: 25 best six-month anniversary date ideas & 100+ romantic date ideas]
6. You have someone who totally understands your beauty needs
Needless to say, you will have someone other than your sister or girlfriend who can relate to why you need to dab your face with caustic ingredients to look beautiful. It can only get better because now you can ask him to shop for you or ask him which brand is better. [Read: Why you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you do for beauty]
7. Expect him to borrow your beauty products now and then
“Hey girl, I lost my chapstick. Mind if I borrow yours?” is something you’d normally hear from one of your girlfriends. However, if your boyfriend is metrosexual, expect to hear something similar.
Because chances are that both of you are using the very same brand of beauty product. It could get worse: you might, one day, find that your newly-bought pack of facial cream is almost empty.
8. He also keeps looking at himself in the mirror
Call it vanity or otherwise, metrosexuals spend a lot of time looking at the mirror. Probably more than women do.
It could be to check if every strand of his hair is right where it should be, or just to reassure his killer good looks with ridiculous third-person self-talk. It might get annoying, at times, when he works to catch a glimpse of himself from anything that manages to produce a reflection.
9. No more whiny boyfriend during your shopping day
Although a ‘manly’ man would go on and on, complaining about why you need 40 minutes to choose which shoes to buy, a metrosexual boyfriend is the perfect shopping companion. He completely understands your dilemma, and will gladly give his very refined fashion advice. [Read: 15 rules girls intuitively use when looking for the one]
10. He’s the perfect companion when PMS strikes
There’s nothing more comforting in this world than having an extra sensitive and good-looking guy to comfort you when your uterus is being flogged with barbed wire and your emotions are going haywire.
Metrosexuals are the gentler kind of the male race who will give you care and understanding during PMS. They will be more than willing to cook your favorite dish for your cravings and cry with you as you go through those mood swings with romantic drama movie marathons.
There is more to being a man than testosterone level alone. The perception of the modern man has changed significantly, and if a metrosexual man is what you’re looking for, good for you. After all, what matters isn’t how brute-like he behaves, but how well the two of you bond together. [Read: A girl’s ultimate survival guide to period woes]
Is a metrosexual guy more womanly than you?
You might find yourself wondering: Is a metrosexual man more of a woman than I am? And to that we say, slow your horses. There is no need to be intimidated by the femininity of metrosexuality.
There are undoubtedly many similar traits shared between the stereotypical role of women and metrosexual men, but these traits don’t define what it means to be “womanly.”
Metrosexuals are in touch with their emotions, they are sensitive toward others, and they usually know the right things to say. Whoever said these traits are strictly for women? These are just signs of someone being a good communicator.
The truth is, the standard for heterosexual men to express their emotions or be good at communicating is so low that society has convinced people into thinking only women can do these things.
Also, it’s no secret metrosexual men like to play dress up. They enjoy grooming, cleanliness, and investing time and money into their appearance—none of which are inherently “womanly” traits either. Since when is it a turn-off for a man to be clean?
Let’s be honest, society has normalized heterosexual men doing the bare minimum to look put together and express their feelings. Just because a man is rejecting traditional gender roles that have been placed on him doesn’t mean he’s “invading” female gender roles.
What it means to be “a man” or “a woman” prevents people from expressing themselves how they want by putting them in a box, unable to do or say how they feel without judgment. [Read: 15 gender stereotypes about men we need to let go of for good]
But metrosexuality allows men a new way to think. They don’t have to be the sacrificing male of yesteryear, and instead, can guiltlessly think about their own wants and needs.
Does metrosexuality equate to consumerism?
Although many metrosexuals in the media live lavish lifestyles with wardrobes full of the newest clothes and 15-step beauty routines, this isn’t an accurate representation of the average metrosexual. Not all metrosexuals have the budget to afford the nicest, newest things.
Metrosexuality isn’t so much about consumerism as it is about feeling put together. A metrosexual man exudes self-confidence not because of how much he spends, but because of what he spends his money on. He prioritizes his appearance and cleanliness above all else.
Are all metrosexuals narcissists?
The quick answer to this question is no, not all metrosexuals are narcissists. If this is a concerning thought, you may be misinformed about the definition of narcissism. We explain what it means to be a narcissist and 73 signs and traits of narcissism here.
Sure, someone who is a metrosexual may also have narcissism. Anyone can have narcissism. But you can be one without the other. Being attentive to your appearance and being charming are not defining traits of a narcissist. And metrosexuality definitely isn’t a personality disorder.
[Read: What is masculinity? 46 manly & toxic traits women love & despise in men]
Gender-related stereotypes are damaging, but as the lines blur between traditionally feminine and masculine roles in society, more metrosexuals are able to express themselves without judgment. Who knows, your next beau might be a metrosexual!
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