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There’s so much uncertainty and ambiguity that comes your way as you adjust to the complexities of adulthood. From making life-altering choices about your career, to learning difficult lessons in your personal relationships, all of the change can feel overwhelming.
This process of exploring your identity and grappling with uncertainty is an important part of personal growth — but it can be emotionally difficult. And when you’re constantly comparing yourself to others who appear to be living their best lives if their social media posts are to be believed, it can feel like you’re the only one who’s struggling. But I assure you, the struggle is totally normal.
- Financial Pressures and Instability
For many young people, this is a time of financial struggle. People in their 20s today are often hit with the triple whammy of student loan debt, entry-level salaries, and a ballooning cost of living, especially in major cities.
Getting established financially and professionally is harder than it was in previous generations, and our cultural vision for success hasn’t been updated to account for this new reality. Most people still consider owning a home an important part of the American Dream, for example, at a time when many young people can’t even afford to move out of their parents’ house. Not achieving the milestones you believe you “should” have in your 20s can make you feel bad about yourself, despite all your hard work.
- Relationship Dynamics and Growth
Your 20s is a time for navigating the complexities of love, intimacy, and commitment in your romantic relationships. Most young people will experiment, get their hearts broken, and encounter some tricky patterns that they’ll need to grow through in order to eventually build a healthy and sustainable partnership.
All of this comes with its fair share of challenges and disappointments. Young people are also more likely to use dating apps, which can leave them feeling alienated and disposable. These difficult experiences will teach you a lot about yourself, your relationship patterns, and what you need from a partner, but they can also take a toll on your emotional wellbeing.
- Mental and Emotional Health
It is totally normal to spend your 20s getting acquainted with the less-than-ideal patterns that you may have absorbed in your family of origin. I’m not necessarily talking about capital-T trauma or seriously adverse childhood experiences. We all absorb some degree of dysfunction growing up, and you will begin to bump up against that dysfunction as you navigate your 20s.
This also isn’t something that ends on your 30th birthday. You’ll continue your personal growth journey throughout your life, and the “issues” that you resolve will come up in different forms again and again. But when you’re in your 20s, you don’t have a track record yet of working through things, healing, and coming out the other side stronger than before. It can be difficult to trust the process. With a little more experience under your belt, you can go through hard things while believing in yourself and your ability to ultimately be okay.
- Loneliness
Finally, your 20s can be quite lonely. Most people are no longer under the wing of their families of origin, but they haven’t yet started families of their own. Their friends from high school and college are dispersing in different directions, while making new friends as an adult becomes more challenging. It can leave you needing more connection to truly thrive.
Support for Navigating Your 20s
Of course, your 20s do not have to be all doom and gloom! It’s a time of remarkable growth, and you can have a lot of fun on the way, especially with the right mindset.
By managing your expectations, attending to self-care, and most of all, working with a qualified guide as you establish yourself in adulthood, you can find contentment, love, happiness, and success, in your 20s and beyond.
If you’re interested in working with a therapist, life coach, or dating and relationship expert on my team, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.
With love,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. — For more advice on building a life based on your truest values and desires, see my personal growth collection of articles and podcasts. It’s all there for you!
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